When I told my husband I wanted to write about fatherhood, and, more specifically, the parenting styles of fathers, he issued a challenge: 'I'll bet you can't write about fathers without some anecdote about our kids and me.'
With that said, I threw down the gauntlet and accepted the challenge to refrain from personal experience.
Fathers have come a long way from the distant stereotypes described in history. There is now a new breed of father. Author Steve Biddulph calls them 'lightweight good-time dads'. LGDs appreciate the importance of devoting themselves to their children and will gladly give up time and money to express their devotion.
And yet when it comes to really parenting, LGDs tend to leave that to their partners.
I see LGDs around Hong Kong all the time. They carry the diaper bags and spend their weekends at the playground. They edit family photos to post online. All this is undertaken with genuine pride and enthusiasm. But can they spend weeks trying to get their child to behave, or even pack a diaper bag?
We all have a clear idea of what 'mothering' means: to care for, protect or act maternally towards a child. That is a dictionary definition. But when it comes to 'fathering', I think of the phrase 'to father a child'. To me, that just sounds like begetting or procreating.