Like it or not, with many mothers and fathers working long hours in Hong Kong, a lot of the responsibility of parenting has fallen on domestic helpers. This is especially true on weekdays.
So, besides doing household chores, preparing meals and taking the children to school, helpers are increasingly expected to help nurture qualities like independence and self-discipline in youngsters.
'Nowadays parents spend a lot less time with their children. It is very difficult for us to pass on our values to them,' says Monica Leung, a real estate professional whose helper looks after her child. As might be expected, Leung turned to her Filipino helper to teach her elder son how to take care of himself. But it has been a complete failure so far. The four-year-old often refuses to feed himself, ignores requests to switch off the television, and throws tantrums when asked to put his toys away.
'When my husband and I are not around, we count on our helper to tell our children what they should do and correct them when they have made mistakes. But my helper doesn't think children should follow rules, and she has a soft spot for children crying. She gives in when my son begs, pleads or cries,' Leung says.
Leung tries to nudge a change in her helper's habits by writing down a list of household and parenting tasks in a notebook and on Post-It Notes for her. She also shares articles on parenting.
'I constantly remind her about the reasons we have for doing things in certain ways, such as why my son should put away a toy by himself. But I have no control over how much of what I say is enforced during the day,' she says.