Go Products is recalling its entire line of state-of-the-art Robocops due to a serious malfunction in some models.
While the vast majority of Robbacops left our factory in perfect working order, Go Products felt this unusual step was necessary to protect the company's good name and quality image. We stress that news reports of some of our customers 'falling down stairs', 'slipping in the showers' and 'bringin' in on themselves' are grossly exaggerated.
Customers should return their Rogue-o-cop to the nearest Go Products dealer if they witness any of the following behaviour patterns: The Rogercop taking down his own particulars.
Memory short-circuiting (discovering evidence where they left it five minutes before).
Levying instant fines on criminals.
Carrying a vibrating truncheon and wearing handcuffs and leather shorts around the house. (While the handcuffs are part of Robbacop's kit, the other two items accidentally found their way into the box from Go Product's forthcoming Julie Riva Blow-up Doll.) Due to a programming error, it is also possible the brainchip in some Robocops have small faults which may effect the way it behaves. These include the misapprehension that ICAC stands for Interfering with Cops Accruing Cash, that CID means Cops Investigating Diddly-squat and RKHP means Raunchy Homosexual Knicker Pics. This is a mistake.
Any customer who believes their Robocop is malfunctioning in any way should pop along to their local Go Products dealer to receive an immediate roughing up.