Remember when the British rail network came to a screeching halt because there were 'leaves on the line?' Or when the Eurostar started its first run through the Channel Tunnel for the press about, oh, four hours late? But as chuffed as we are to see British train trouble-shooter Alan Cooksey (below), dispatched from arguably the world's worst rail system to help sort out the problemsplaguing MTR, he need not really have bothered.

Upper management boffins at the Mass Transit Railway Corporation have identified the cause of mechanical stoppages and delays that have drawn so much public rage recently.

Forget the fact that the stress and strain of over 20 years of constant use may have finally taken its toll, the root of the problem, say those in the know, is the ubiquitous mobile telephone.