JOY, oh joy - more Clint Eastwood with Hang 'Em High (Tonight, Pearl, 9.30 pm) in which the Malpaso Man stars in his first post-Sergio-Leone western, playing a cowboy back from the dead who vows revenge on the men who lynched him.
Monday sees two films about disasters on an epic scale . . . not. The Poseidon Adventure (Pearl, 9.30 pm), despite its cliches and the presence of action B-movie king Ernest Borgnine (left), is surprisingly entertaining with an all-star cast trying to escape from an upturned liner. Over on World, Princess In Love (9.30 pm) is a nerve-numbing made-for-television film about the romance between Princess Diana (Julie Cox, left) and James Hewitt, as if anyone really cares. Ironically, it was produced by an American company. Later on, Pearl airs the brilliant Genghis Cohn (Monday, 3 am), though its screening time will put most people off. Is there no justice? At times, I wonder how certain films ever get made and a case in point is Tammy And The Teenage T-Rex (Tuesday, Pearl, 9.30 pm). I hope for the writer's sake this wasn't supposed to be a serious thriller because even the title is laughable.
Man's Heritage (Thursday, Pearl, 8.30 pm) is perplexingly titled Cuddly Sharks; I think Help, Shark! Get Me Out Of The Water! would have been more apt. In fact, it is such preconceptions the programme aims to address, claiming sharks eat humans because they think we are elephant seals. Right.
A different animal steals the show in K-9 (Thursday, Pearl, 9.30 pm), with German shepherd dog Jerry Lee helping and hindering James Belushi crack a drugs case. There must have been something about the dog-partnering-cop theme in 1989 since K-9 was made in the same year as the equally cringe-worthy Turner And Hooch.
World Of Wonder (Saturday, World, 3.30 pm) shows footage of earthquakes and examines the research being done to understand this phenomenon. Having experienced an earthquake in California, this is one piece of television I won't be missing. Meryl Streep (left) and Jeremy Irons excel in The French Lieutenant's Woman (Saturday, World, 11.50 pm), which contrasts two romances across the centuries. Billy Crystal and Danny De Vito team up in Throw Momma From The Train (Saturday, Pearl, 1.30 am), a darkly comic reworking of Hitchcock's Strangers On A Train, with Anne Ramsey (left) frighteningly convincing as De Vito's bossy mother.