YES Allow me to introduce as Exhibit A my 10th grade history teacher, Mr Donald, or, as we preferred to call him, 'dry extractions'. He was a burned-out bag of bones with werewolf mutton-chops who would spend half the lesson blathering about the horrors of his frequent dental visits, scaring us witless with lurid tales of plier-wielding fiends in white jackets who could make Sir Laurence Olivier in Marathon Man seem like a kindly uncle. Rum fumes seeped from his waxy jacket of skin, mingling with the horrible halitosis he shared around so generously. Needless to say, my grasp of history was rather shaky - I thought the ancient Greeks were the hairy old couple who ran the fish and chip shop down the street - but I did finish the year with an abiding fear of dentists.
I mention this by way of illustrating the tremendous power teachers have over their captive audience; the power to bore, the power to intimidate, the power to humiliate, the power to warp and twist impressionable young minds, not to mention the power generally to do their level best to dam up the flood of human potentialities.
As Exhibit B, I tender the caring and sensitive Hong Kong educator who made one of their charges parade about the playground bearing a placard emblazoned 'talkative pig'. What's next? Hot and cold running dunce hats? Local pedagogues are also throwing their weight around by trying to ban Tamagotchis - electronic 'virtual pets' from Japan which need constant care or they will die. Far from interfering with classes, the Tamagotchi teaches every Hong Kong pupil the most valuable lesson they can learn: that you can reap a fortune from cheap junk.
For Exhibit C we need look no further than George Bernard Shaw's observation that, 'He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.' Or, as Oscar Wilde said, 'Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.' Being paid to inflict your mediocrity on youngsters is surely a heinous abuse of power. The Education Department has earmarked $3 million to hire experts to stop primary school teachers abusing or humiliating students. It would be better off sacking all the teachers and replacing them with computers. No box of wires and chips would dream of branding a child a talkative pig.
My horned friend opposite points out the perils of the teaching profession. I say these dangers are self-inflicted. If you insult and belittle kids when they're six or seven, then you can't complain that they want to speak softly and carry an Uzi by the time they're 16.
Finally, I offer Exhibit D. In a recent interview, the long-legged, lubricious-lipped Liv ('Probably the most gorgeous woman in the world') Tyler was asked what was the worst part about high school. Said Liv: 'Teachers. They have all this power over you.' I rest my case.