Every dog doo has its day
Hong Kong lawyers have made putting one's foot in it an art form.
One such example was witnessed at Eastern Court last week. Three men accused of possessing explosives sparked a security search of the court building following threatening phone calls from their accomplices. Sniffer dogs were brought in to check out all the courtrooms.
However, one canine took it upon himself to express his personal views by defecating under a table.
Obviously too engrossed in the task before him, a defence lawyer took his seat - and abruptly realised it was, in fact, a dog's life, as he stood in the animal's deposit.
The magistrate then had to be informed that cleaners would have to deal with a set of unsavoury footprints on the carpet, and the court was cleared.
Ah, the sweet smell of justice.
Cheap spiel The beleaguered hotel industry appears to be hitting new depths of desperation and the supposedly discerning Peninsula hotel is no exception.
Guests have been offered an array of packages - for example, go on shopping trips by Rolls-Royce in the 'Peninsula Lifestyle' package.
But the worst has to be this: visitors are being given the opportunity to eat in the hotel lobby's jewellery store in a segment cringingly titled 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'.
Quick result A great example of journalism was in evidence one morning last week on, of all stations, the BBC World Service, relayed by RTHK.
A reporter covering Indian elections told listeners there were something like 250 million voters in the world's biggest democracy.
He visited a voting station. 'Which way did you vote?' he asked a departing woman. 'I voted for the [Hindu] BJP,' she informed him.
'And which way are you going to vote?' he asks an arriving man. 'Well, it's supposed to be a secret ballot . . . but I'll vote for the BJP,' he confided.
The reporter bounced over to the local Congress Party office a few metres away. 'Everyone I've asked at the voting station today says they're going to vote BJP,' he told the bemused officer. 'Do you think you will be severely defeated?' Sexy bites Food retailers in Wan Chai are taking a leaf out of their sleazy neighbours' book. Side by side with topless bars advertising exotic dancers are sandwich stalls.
Little Italy has really got into the swing of things: their latest mouth-watering offering is a 'Hot, hot panini from Paris'.
That famous British creation, the cheese and pickle sandwich, has also taken on a twist. Sandwich sellers are marketing a Continental version with mozzarella instead of traditional English cheddar complete with 'Branson pickles'.
We're sure the Virgin Airways impresario is impressed.
Burned rubber The scene: you are walking along the road outside Kowloon Tong MTR and a yellow civil engineering department car comes around the corner so fast, it hits the pavement and blows a tyre.
Well, this did happen, and a Backbites reader who witnessed the reckless manoeuvre phoned 999, gave the vehicle registration plate and suggested the police should come to question the staff as they were repairing the tyre.
'The car is on fire?' said the emergency operator. Who says English standards among emergency officers are atrocious? Fowl call More tales from the files of the Government 'public relations' (surely a misnomer) department.
During the great chicken re-entry in early February, one reporter was trying to find out what breed was coming in. Several phone calls drew blanks all round.
Trying the Agriculture and Fisheries Department's PR - who, after all, were co-ordinating the event for the media - drew this response: 'I don't know, does it matter? It's a chicken as far as I'm concerned.' For the thousands of consumers who snapped up the birds within the first two hours, it seemed to matter - the southern Chinese Shekki mixed breed is a tasty, plump chicken infinitely superior to imported frozen varieties.