Close encounters of the shy kind
You say 'tomayto', I say 'tomahto' . . . while some simply stutter in front of the opposite sex.
While books like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus abound on the issue of romantic success, social workers are offering courses teaching etiquette and self-understanding to the unattached.
Social worker Florence Lai Wing-chee at Sha Tin Caritas Family Service Centre is leading a six-session course for single people aged from 30 to 40. Married herself, she insists the course is not a matchmaking agency, although several of her students have tied the knot.
What's on your mind? The give-and-take involved in relationships, not just romantic ones. People in our course will be encouraged to share their deeper feelings, and more often than not they find what the opposite sex says and thinks very different and even surprising.
What's the purpose of the meetings? We are an encounter group, in which people who have little exposure to the opposite sex can learn from each other. We talk about all sorts of things - work, love and sex. Remember many of them don't come here to look for romance, they just want to make new friends and they can do so in a relaxing environment. At present, we've got more female applicants than male.
Are those who join quite shy? Yes, most of them. The office environment allows little room for interpersonal understanding and many of them feel that although they're successful in careers, it's hard to find 'the other half' at the office. Even if they like someone, they're worried about gossiping and uncertainties.
What do most people think of marriage? Some men still hold very traditional values. They insist women stay at home to take care of household chores while men go out to work and pay to support the family.
You have had cases where your students have gone down the aisle, haven't you? We don't pair up people intentionally, but they go out together outside the course, and I guess they find that he or she is the one.
