Keep an eye out for Olympic torches
Do you have one eye and a dream? Is that dream to drive a mini-bus? You've come to the right place. Last year commuters discovered that a one-eyed driver had been plying his trade on the streets of Hong Kong.
Still, at least he can claim he had an eye on the road. That's more than can be said for a lot of local drivers.
Ignoring traffic signs and speeding led to 1,168,405 arrests and summonses last year. More than 23,000 of those cases were for careless driving.
But that's OK. Hong Kong law smiles upon careless drivers.
You can even kill someone and get away with it in the SAR.
Earlier this year a driver mowed down a 17-year-old golf champion as she walked on a crosswalk.
He told the courts that he never slows down for pedestrian crossings.
His punishment for her death was a $3,500 fine. He was allowed to keep his licence.
So if you've got a couple of thousand dollars handy - go ahead. Amuse yourself copying Evel Knievel stunts at rush hour on the Tuen Mun highway.
'I drive on average at least 1,500 kilometres a month, and from what I see happening on our roads nearly every day, local driving standards are pathetic,' an SCMP reader raged in a recent letter.
'Just one day last month on a 10-kilometre journey, I had to avoid two near collisions because of other drivers who did not understand what to do at a stop sign and seemingly could not see the over-wattage dipped beam headlamps of my white van in broad daylight from an unobstructed distance of 20 metres on a clear day.' To get to the bottom of his driving concern, Lai See obtained a copy of the Multiple Choice Exercise produced by the Hong Kong School of Motoring.
Each question had three possible responses. We were a little taken aback by some of the options.
So we've created a little quiz of our own. Each question has three possible answers. Two of them are creatures of the Lai See imagination.
But one of them actually appeared (as one of the incorrect options) in the motoring school's quiz book. See if you can guess which one.
The answers are at the end.
What do the following signs mean? 1) A. Model aircraft convention ahead B. Sudden dip in road ahead. Vehicle may leave the pavement.
C. No kite flying 2) A. Butcher's shop ahead.
B. Weight Watcher's meeting ahead.
C. Road will pass through herd of cows.
3) A. Cactus ahead.
B. Fire hydrant ahead.
C. Do not raise left leg and right arm while driving.
4) A. Stop. Cattle Crossing.
B. Slow. Olympic torch bearer ahead.
C. Caution: Exploding lightbulbs.
5) How much can a driver drink and not exceed the prescribed limit? A. Two pints of English beer (or six of American).
B. Drivers must stop drinking the moment room begins to spin.
C. It will be all right, if you are not continually consuming different types of drinks.
6) Having consumed drinks before driving, the driver should: A. Consume a coffee and several breath mints before entering vehicle.
B. Drive faster in order to shorten the travelling duration.
C. Avoid roundabouts.
7) Is a learner driving licence holder allowed to carry passenger? A. Yes, if the passenger is wearing an approved helmet.
B. Yes, if the passenger signs the appropriate waivers.
C. No, unless the passenger is a dog.
8) When the two red lights in front of a Fire Station are flashing, this means: A. The station's electrical system is short-circuiting.
B. There is an accident inside the station.
C. It's firefighter's disco night.
9) When seeing someone holding a sign 'Stop! Children Crossing' you will: A. Demand to see sign holder's identification.
B. Insist that you are in a hurry and demand that the children give way.
C. If that person is not in uniform, proceed.
ANSWERS: 1)C 2)A 3)B 4)A 5)C 6)B 7)A 8)B 9)C