Crushed cutter Kim commits fashion hara-kiri
It's a sad day for Hong Kong glamour. Stylist to the stars Kim Robinson - the King of Coiffe - has been sighted looking flabby and dejected in the MTR.
And - brace yourself for this - he was carrying a Giordano bag.
Has the man who mixed with the cream of Hong Kong society been reduced to sporting McFashion? Lai See is giving Mr Robinson the benefit of the doubt.
Perhaps he found the bag on the ground and was just using it to transport the rocks he plans to hurl through the windows of Asia Wide Hotels and Resorts.
Three months ago the stylist, whose clients include supermodel Naomi Campbell and the late Princess Diana, was escorted from Le Salon Orient mid-haircut. Mid-Baroness-Dunn-haircut, to be exact.
Edwin Hitti's Asia Wide Hotels and Resorts claimed he had agreed to sell them his controlling interest in the Duddle Street chop shop.
Did not, said Kim.
Did too, said Asia Wide.
The courts heard a slightly expanded versions of those arguments. At the end of them, Mr Robinson lost his hairdressing school, his home and all four salons.
Lai See hears the celebrity-snipper has been reduced to plying his trade in clients' homes.
Meanwhile, his former stylists are suing for $800,000 in unpaid commission and wages.
Unpaid cut rates and cut-rate clothing.
Sounds like Hong Kong's top hairdresser has been trimming his costs.
We were interested to hear that a tourist was caught trying to lure one of North Korea's joyous citizens across the border to the Dark Side.
Could put a damper on South Korea's enthusiasm for handing over that 200,000 tonne fertiliser gift they've been promising.
Lai See doesn't understand why the North needs it in the first place.
Surely they could fertilise the nation with the stuff that flows out of their central news agency.
We particularly enjoyed the news service's latest update on last week's naval skirmish, headlined 'KCNA Lashes out at U.S.'s Madcap War Moves' and 'Our Retaliation is Merciless, warns KCNA'. Here's a sample: 'We displayed to the full our patience and self-restraint from the outset so as to prevent an armed conflict.
'However, battleships of the navy of the South Korean Army intentionally bumped against warships of the navy of the Korean People's Army and fired thousands of bullets and shells according to the prearranged scenario.
'As a result of the counterattack of the KPA naval ships, more than 10 enemy battleships were either burned or severely damaged, with heavy casualties.
'The recent armed conflict did not develop into a total war entirely thanks to our high patience and self-restraint.
'Anyone who encroaches upon our territory, even a blade of grass, will be mercilessly punished.' Lai See can only imagine how one goes about 'mercilessly punishing' a blade of grass.
Our Government is trying to tell us something.
But we can't tell you what it is because it's been written in some sort of code. Government Information Services encrypted and released the mystery message yesterday.
To get to the bottom of it, Lai See has decided to hold a little competition.
See if you can work out what this means: 'In a circular issued to traders on June 10, 1999, the Commissioner of Customs and Excise (CCE) promulgated some standards the compliance with which would likely be regarded as having met the minimum safety standards as required under the GSR where flammability is concerned.
'According to random tests carried out by the Customs & Excise Department (C&ED) last year on a number of PU foam filled mattresses, all items tested passed the US ignitability resistance standard which is one of the standards promulgated in C&ED's circular of June 10.' Be the first reader to come up with the answer, and we'll fax you your very own WANK Words game board.
It's chock full of phrases that crop up in those meetings and memos where no-one really says anything, but they take an awfully long time not saying it.