Eyesores prove DB life's a ball

Remember the Giant Balls of Discovery Bay? The brightly-coloured 'decorative' plastic orbs suddenly appeared one day in the plaza of the golf cart community. The management company had put them there thinking it would make DB look 'fun'.

But concerned citizens cried 'eyesore'. Then came the safety worries ('Those giant balls could roll over and crush a child'), followed by further aesthetic outrage when the balls were suddenly encased in synthetic moss.

Soon the moss was being vandalised by members of the Anti Giant Ball clique.

That's about as far as Lai See followed the sphere saga.

But this week brought a new development. When the temperature rose, those orbs began to smell. And with odour came outrage.

A concerned citizen named David is calling on his fellow DBers to rise up in protest against the tyrannous forces that inflicted Giant Balls upon an unsuspecting populace.

'Fellow citizens of DB,' begins David. 'Once again [DB management firm] HKR is turning a deaf ear, or rather a blind eye, to the horrific monstrosity in the commercial centre.

'THE BALLS it seems, are here to stay for at least a while longer!! Wouldn't it be great if we could organise a group of people to protest against these objects of outright ugliness and an environmental hazard.

'An odour of plastic is emminating [sic] from those things!!! And the white wires above the trees!! What scarey stuff, folks. Let's do something about it!!' It's always inspiring to come across people who aren't afraid to fight for what they believe in.

Too many people in this world are prepared to sit idly by and accept whatever fate dishes out.

What can we do, they shrug. We're just another community faced with the sudden appearance of foul-smelling, child-endangering giant balls encased in fake moss and vandalised by passers by.

Yes, this sort of thing is becoming all too common.

Disarmed: There are some things that could happen only in Hong Kong.

A nurse just recounted one of them. The angel of medical mercy was approaching the Sheung Wan tram depot when she spotted a man sitting on the road in a pool of his own blood after he had been hit by a taxi.

His face was scratched and blood was fountaining through a torn artery in his arm.

She pushed her way through the crowd and applied pressure to the wound so that he wouldn't die of blood loss while waiting for the ambulance. From deep inside his pocket, a mobile phone rang.

To her amazement, he reached for it with his good arm and began shouting 'What? What? I can't hear you'.

'Put the phone away,' ordered the nurse. 'Put it away!' But the call was from his broker, so he ignored her and it took a whole ambulance crew to amputate phone from ear.

That's Hong Kong logic for you. It doesn't really matter if your arm's broke, just so long as the rest of you isn't.

Cop this: Who says cops aren't witty? A reader passed on a list of Classic Police Quotes. Here are the highlights: So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh? Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.

The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?