Cargo boys deliver wild old time
Lai See has been reading a magazine.
The cover shows a scantily clad woman kneeling on a bed. Inside, we learn that this is Angela, the publication's centrefold, and that she 'loves dressing up, eating out and night-clubbing till dawn'.
The cover promotes stories about 'Foreplay','Animal Magic' and 'Against the Odds'.
Ah, nothing like a good air freight trade publication.
Yes, it's the latest issue of Cathay Pacific's Cargo Clan.
The lovely Angela is this quarter's 'Freight Mate'.
Lai See hadn't realised what wild playboy lifestyles those cargo boys led.
The mag's pages are jostling with beautiful women, opulent restaurants, tropical golf courses and tales of fortunes won and lost at the blackjack table.
How exciting. Sort of James-Bond-meets-big-pieces-of-luggage.
To be fair, there is some stuff about freight-handling in there too.
We learned, for example, that 17 harbour seals and 20,000 live crocodiles have flipped and slid around in the cargo spaces of Cathay.
That story included a sort of guide to transporting elephants. Hence the headline: 'Jumbo Jetsetters'.
But all in all, there wasn't much mention of cargo.
And, try as we might, we couldn't find any photos of freight.
They obviously like young nymphs better than old bags.
Bird call: Ah pigeons. Their heads, like tiny hammers, tap at imaginary nails in non-existent walls.
Lai See read that somewhere. Whoever wrote it obviously had a more romantic view of the creatures than one Grant Beuzeval of Causeway Bay.
He's the author of a letter to the editor with a decidedly anti-pigeon bias.
Apparently an 'unruly gang' of about 100 birds frequents the intersection of Leighton Road and Wong Nai Chung Road.
The Leisure and Cultural Services Department has posted a sign urging the public not to feed them but lawless elements in our community insist on ignoring it.
'I suspect these people are not being woken at 6 am every morning by these winged rodents,' fumes Mr Beuzeval, who lives nearby.
'I need not draw the curtain to know that they are out there, fornicating on my window sill and performing irritating dances of love on my air-conditioning unit with their scratchy little feet and all the while producing that maddening warbling sound.'
Hmmm. Lai See wonders if jealousy might have something to do with this.
It sounds like those pigeons really know how to have a good time.
Dash, darn it: Now Lai See knows she can be a bit baffling at times.
But yesterday's column contained an item that puzzled even her.
It described Li Ka-shing's largesse at Tom.com's spring banquet.
The King of Cash had dropped 10 HK$13,800 prizes into the lucky dip.
Yesterday confused readers were calling us up and asking that we explain something. They wanted to know why the dosh donation 'reaffirmed Lai See 's long-held opinion that Mr Li should shift his hyphen'.
'Let's face it,' the item concluded. 'People already think of him as Li Ka-shing'.
Well, er, yes. They would tend to, what with that being his name and all.
We apologise for any confusion caused. Turns out our hyphen mysteriously migrated at some point during the production process.
Lai See had redubbed him 'Li Kash-ing'.