When the going gets tough, the tough get creative
As the recession bites, clients with bills to pay for bar, restaurant and office refurbishments might be tempted to find some imaginary fault with the work and withhold their contractor's fees. This is not always wise. SAR recently sat in on a meeting of disgruntled SoHo contractors and learned about the building trade's most commonly used - or at least commonly considered - payment-hastening techniques:
The world's longest invoice
Scrawl 'pay me' on an A4 sheet of paper. Fax to your non-performing debtor. When the fax is halfway through your machine, tape the two ends together so it loops continually. Leave until the recipient's fax machine is exhausted. Repeat daily.
$10 notes
Same as above, but instead of flyers hand out $10 notes with your complaints inscribed on them. For some reason these circulate a lot more widely and are read by a lot more people.
Flyers
Stand on the pavement in front of your debtor's business premises, handing out flyers outlining your grievances to everyone entering or leaving.
Loan sharks' favourite
Graffiti: intimidating, neighbour-alerting, indelible.
Grasshopper
Fill a bucket with excrement, add a few hundred grasshoppers ($20 from Mongkok's Bird Street) and put a plate on top. Wait a couple of days. Carry bucket into the bar/shop/restaurant/office you built but were not paid for. Remove plate. Run.
Court
The last resort. Best used when non-paying client has access to more grasshoppers/$10 notes/tattooed men than you.
