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SCMP Reporter

Another restaurant bites the dust.

Trattoria Restaurant & Bar will be closing its doors after 10 years in the Landmark.

The Italian eatery has been given its marching orders by landlord Hongkong Land - it seems to be on a roll at the moment - and will find out today when exactly it will have to leave.

According to Epicurean Management Group operations director Grant Baird, this could be any time between March and the end of June.

And in its place?

Possibly another tower. Directly above where Trattoria now sits.

Well, that is all we could glean from slightly miffed tenants in the building who have been asked to stay schtum on Hongkong Land's grand plan for the Landmark.

The Securities and Futures Commission - currently in the Landmark's Edinburgh Tower - is already looking for new space after it was informed its lease would not be renewed.

Other tenants have also been asked to leave. Or have gone.

Sadly for Trattoria the chase is on to find jobs for its 35-odd staff. The restaurant will not be setting up anywhere else in the near future.

Merda.

BAD BUSINESS

There is business class and then there is business class.

Air China's didn't seem to fit into either category for a rather frustrated executive travelling on the airline over the Lunar New Year.

The idea was to fly out of Beijing over the holidays in business class. Aaah, a glass of champagne, some decent food and the red carpet service?

Not quite.

The traveller arrived early, expecting queues at Beijing's airport.

There were the two business-class counters, and two bright red carpets. Over on the other side were the lanes for cattle class.

The executive walked up to one of the red carpets. And waited. And waited. Two hours, and still nobody turned up to check him in.

The crowds were getting restless over in the economy lane. Finally, staff members turned up.

And they headed straight for the economy passengers. Business travellers got the cold shoulder.

Until one approached a staff member - and was hollered at.

When finally they took the business-class tickets, it was pretty much every man for himself, the executive recounts.

At last, he made it through the check-in and to the business-class lounge.

Time to relax. Have a drink. Read a magazine.

Sadly the only publication on offer in English was an in-flight magazine.

For Air Canada.

COURT ON RECORD

Even the brightest of legal minds are prone to the odd gaffe or two.

And thankfully court recorders are there to keep their slips on record.

The following appear from Disorder in the Court:

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: 'Where am I, Cathy?'

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

HAPPY NEW WEAR

Goat, sheep, ram . . . yes, we had much amusement with the confusion over what this Lunar New Year actually is.

The Silvermine Beach Hotel on Lantau, however, has put the quandary in a league of its own.

Guests were recently treated to an upgrade in the hotel's facilities.

That being the case, a lot of channel tuning was going on to ensure their new satellite TV system was in order.

In a letter, patrons were asked to allow access to their rooms.

The signoff?

'Enjoy your new satellite TV.

'And best wishes - in the Year of the Coat.'



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Hongkong Land

Landlord calls last orders at Trattoria