India's young women rebel against the greedy grooms
More Indian women are telling avaricious grooms and in-laws to get lost, rather than give in to last-minute dowry demands.
It is not a tidal wave yet. But something in the consciousness of Indian women has been indelibly altered since May 11.
That was the day Nisha Sharma electrified the nation by dumping her fiance the day before their wedding in New Delhi because of unexpected dowry demands from him and his family. In the past, greedy grooms and their families have felt confident in bullying more valuables out of brides.
But Ms Sharma was different - a modern young woman aware of her rights. She dialed the police emergency number and had the young man arrested under India's strict anti-dowry laws.
In Madras last week, another young woman, Vidya Mehta, called off her ceremony when the groom's family demanded more gold and electric appliances just before the priest was to start reciting prayers. This was after accepting a dowry of gold, silver, household goods and cash.
Ms Mehta's parents were reportedly still begging the bridegroom's relatives not to insist on their demands when the bride arrived with the police. The bridegroom and parents were arrested.
Six other New Delhi girls have had their prospective husbands arrested in dowry rows.
Three days after Ms Sharma's feisty stand, 19-year-old Neeta, from Punjab, married a factory hand in New Delhi. The ceremony over, the groom demanded a motorbike. On the spot, she called police and had him arrested.
What is new is not just young women saying 'no' to being insulted; it is the support they are getting from their parents, who in years past would rather die than have their daughters rebel against custom in this way.
Part of the reason for parental support is that dowry-demanding is spinning out of control. With rising consumerism, the appetites of grooms are ballooning. They want cars, laptops, flats and digital video cameras. And only the top brands please.
'The menace of dowry is getting worse but two decades of efforts by the women's movement are now also being felt,' said Purnima Advani, chairwoman of the National Commission for Women. 'You can see it in the way the media and the public are cheering girls like Nisha in a way they would never have done before.'
The realisation is dawning on women that it is better to refuse early on, rather than comply and then face continued mistreatment later in the marriage.
Manju, 21, broke off her engagement a week ago because her fiance demanded one of the houses owned by her parents in New Delhi and threatened to cancel the wedding. 'I decided a man who has no qualms disowning a girl he vowed to wed over something like a house would behave even worse later,' she said.
