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Great leap backward by tai-tai generation

Young women look to snare wealthy husbands over careers, says activist

The status of women is improving on the mainland, but observers are noticing a trend of young women opting to search for rich husbands rather than build up their careers.

Today marks International Women's Day and while Mao Zedong once remarked that women held up half the sky, equality between the sexes remains a distant dream on the mainland.

Xu Chunlian, vice-chairwoman of the Guangdong Provincial Women's Federation, said women now played a greater role in policymaking and society due to their elevated economic status.

But she is worried about the growing number of young women who prefer to find wealthy husbands so that they can lead lives of leisure. 'If a woman does not work and is dependant on her husband, her status is lowered,' she said.

'We have done a lot of surveys which have found that many tai-tais are highly educated women who risk being abandoned by their husbands like worn clothes after some time. Marriage is not a lifelong dinner ticket.'

For Xu, a writer, it was the opposite. She never relied on anyone but herself, but years of putting her family and work first have taken their toll.

It was a price she paid willingly to pursue her dream of running a successful publishing business.

At the age of 48, Xu regrets that she has lost her youth and vitality, but is proud she has risen to become president and editor-in-chief of Family Magazine.

'My career has been smooth, but success comes at a price, and women have to pay a much heavier price than men. There is a lot of social pressure in juggling the roles of a good daughter-in-law, mother and wife.

'I grew with the magazine, but I had to put in a lot of effort. Now I have a magazine with a circulation of more than 3 million - and 10 books. I had to struggle to find time to write these books, but as they say, you reap what you sow.'

Xu helped found Family Magazine in the aftermath of the Cultural Revolution, when it was still taboo to talk about family matters. Her son and daughter are now studying overseas, but before they left home she would wake at 6.30am each day to make breakfast and send them to school before going to the office. She also did all the housework herself, even though she and her husband, a banker, could have afforded a maid.

'I would write all night long. Sleep a couple of hours, wake up, wash my face and go to work. At that time, I was young and could handle it, but I can't do it now. Even at that time, I looked haggard,' Xu said.

She was lucky to have a supportive husband, even though he would question why she made her life so hard. 'I feel sorry that I had to give him the shadow cast by my reading lamp for company,' she said.

She felt uneasy when her children left home after taking care of them for so long, but found that for the first time she had time for herself.

She was able to make a trip through the Gobi Desert and, after a long spell of travelling, came across an oasis. 'It was only then I realised what an oasis was. If you have not gone through a desert, you would never appreciate an oasis.'

Looking back, Xu, who now has a maid and a driver, regrets that she did not ask her husband to share the housework.

'Now I feel that a woman should love herself and not give away too much. Otherwise she will not be appreciated.'

Xu, a director of the Family Periodical Group and vice-chairwoman of the Guangdong Women's Federation, is urging women to value themselves more. 'If they don't value themselves, others won't value them. My generation was traditional. I regret that I did not value myself more.'

Guangzhou Writers' Association chairwoman Zhang Xin says she is concerned that women allow themselves to be ruled by their hearts. But she has noticed young Guangdong women are trying to better themselves by reading more and attending night classes.

A survey by the federation in 2000 found that local women spent two years less in school than men, compared with the national average of one year.

'Time will lift women's status. It will not be what men do for women,' she said. 'It has to come from within. Women will win respect for themselves and that will lead to higher status.'

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