My friends r ur friends
in 1996, there was SixDegrees. Last year, there was the sudden booming of Friendster. Now we have Hi5, Orkut and possibly millions more. These social networking sites (SNS) are spreading like a virus through the internet world. Are they just hip, or can't we simply make friends in reality?
Diya Sen, 18, registered with Hi5 about a month ago. She thinks it's a really good way for her to maintain and expand her circle of friends.
'I can keep in touch with my friends and meet new friends,' says Sen, who tries to log on to Hi5 at least once a day. 'You can leave messages for other people, and know what other people think about you. I have some new friends. They are friends' friends. I have about 35 friends on my list.'
'It could be very useful if one wants to gather people together,' says Neeraj Soman, 17, who has switched to Hi5 from Friendster.
Soman says he has communicated with some friends of friends through SNS, but not many. However, he said that some people might find SNS a good way to meet people.
'I think people are now more introverted and afraid of showing what they are like in real life,' he says.
SNS is the realisation of an experiment conducted by social psychologist Stanley Milgram in 1967. In the experiment, people were asked to forward a letter, by hand, to a target they didn't know. It turned out that it only took six steps for some of the letters to reach the target.
The conclusion of this experiment became the basis of 'six degrees of separation', the theory that everyone on Earth is separated from anyone else by no more than six degrees of separation, or six friends of friends of friends. In 1996, a website called SixDegrees was launched to help people meet new friends through their circle of friends.
SixDegrees was the pioneer of SNS. Its popularity led to the rise of SNS, and it almost reached its peak last year with the emergence of Friendster.
On SNS such as Friendster or Hi5, you can publicise your profile and pictures. Friends can leave you messages and write you testimonials.
Compared with traditional internet communication tools such as ICQ, MSN or Yahoo and AOL messenger, SNS sounds safer because you don't meet people online randomly, but through your real friends' network.
While Soman believes that SNS only helps him get to know his real friends better, Sen has taken it a step further.
'I have met [online friends] in real life,' says Sen. 'We met on Hi5. Then we started chatting on MSN and got to know each other.'
Eunis Vu Kit-teng, centre-in-charge of Hong Kong Family Welfare Society Centre, says that those who don't have many friends, or are isolated in schools, are most likely to turn to these websites. She says that the tool is neutral, but warns young users not to overestimate the safety of SNS.
'Although the people you meet on SNS are probably friends of your friends, you still have to be careful as you don't know if you can trust a person,' Vu says. 'It's best is to check with your friends about the people you meet, and find out more before telling these online friends too much of your personal information.'
She cites one case where a girl put some very personal information on her internet diary. 'She thought that it only had limited circulation, but it leaked to other websites,' Vu says.
But neither Sen nor Soman believes that SNS is a good way to find a girlfriend or boyfriend.
'It's too random,' Sen says. 'Physical presence is important. How can you just meet someone by looking at their pictures?'
Soman agrees. 'People only project their best side on these sites,' he says. 'It's not a real way to know a person.'
