She's right. The wives of Stepford aren't normal. They always look good, they keep a perfect home, cook wonderful meals and are ready and waiting whenever the mood takes their husbands. As a result, they appear to have wonderfully contented husbands and happy marriages.

It is a great idea for a book, a movie and a feminist swipe at men. But is it a recipe for a happy marriage? According to a controversial American agony aunt, Dr Laura Schlessinger, it could be just that. Schlessinger is the author of The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: What Successful Marriage is Really About, a self-help book for wives that has created a storm in the US.

The book is a barrage of criticism of women's behaviour within marriage. Schlessinger admonishes women for forgetting how to use their 'feminine wiles' to get what they want from their men; for being disdainful, complaining, bullying, and nagging. 'Change your ways,' she says, or they'll lose their husbands. 'There isn't a day that goes by when I don't ask at least one woman caller on my radio programme if she expects to stay married considering her hostile, dismissive or undermining attitude and actions toward her husband,' Schlessinger says.

She unapologetically aims the advice in her book at women, because 'women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly and intelligently, results in a happier husband who will 'swim through shark-infested waters to bring her a lemonade'.'

The book works on the assumption that men are simple creatures who need only to be properly fed, allowed a bit of guy time, given enough love and dutifully admired as the head of the family.

With the book going on sale here this month (HarperCollins, $116), how are Hong Kong couples likely to react to the Schlessinger finger-wagging?

According to Angela Wong Wai-ching, associate professor at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, and soon-to-be chairman of the Gender Studies Committee, many may be in favour - mainly because there's never been a strong women's movement. 'This is the Chinese way,' she says. 'It's quite different to the west. Women don't talk about [their problems] all the time or complain about issues. In the Chinese context, the image of a good wife is still quite strong. Regardless of the achievements of a lot of professional, middle class women, the public discourse is that you can be a success in your career - but if you don't manage your marriage well you've still failed.

'In the minds of men, having a wife at home managing the children and the family is the best support a wife can give.'

Full-time wife and mother-of-two Clara Wu says many women - including her - would consider the book's advice to be accurate. The 37-year-old former vice-president of American Express International says she can see it working for her own marriage of seven years.

'Of course it depends on the guy and the couple involved, but I agree that men are fairly simple,' she says. 'I think a lot of men would say this book is right on. All they need is to be loved and respected, appreciated for what they do and not nagged and criticised all the time.

'That doesn't mean that the woman has to be submissive,' she says. 'I didn't read it as meaning you never raise issues that bother you. You just have to be smart about how and when to raise them.

'My husband is a traditional guy, and he does view himself as wanting to provide for the family. He's quite driven in that way. Maybe it would work for us because we don't seem to have major conflicts about character, values, the way I raise the children or the way I spend money. If we did, I'm not sure that just treating him with respect and not criticising him would be enough to 'save' the marriage.'

Pilot James Turnbull, a 33-year-old father of two from Discovery Bay, says some of Schlessinger's advice rings true.

'What husband wouldn't love to come home to a delicious meal and his wife looking beautiful?' he says. But Turnbull, who has been married for six years, says he'd feel uncomfortable if his wife took a submissive role. He also feels patronised by the labelling of men as simple.

'There's more to holding a relationship together than cooking a meal, putting a bit of makeup on and not slagging your husband off. It's true that men need to feel loved, respected and adored, but then so do women,' he says.

'I don't understand why the woman has to be the instigator. I've looked after a child all day myself and I know that at the end of that the thought of cooking a meal is the last thing on my mind.

'I also wouldn't want my wife to consider that I was simple and that she had the key to making the relationship work. It takes two to make a successful relationship. To make a happy home is to love each other a great deal and both work towards making it work.'

Relationship expert Sharon Glick, of St John's Counselling Service in Hong Kong, says Schlessinger's advice could work in a traditional marriage where a wife decides her role is to serve.

'We are born into this world with different skills,' says Glick. 'If our self-esteem is gained by getting outside approval, then to take on the role of being a handmaiden to a man might be very pleasant. If she [the wife] has a stronger need for self-actualisation, she may feel unfulfilled and may not be happy in that role. It's really an issue for the individual.'

Glick says women put more demands on a marriage. 'Men tend to be much more satisfied with less,' she said. 'People who live with each other tend to take each other for granted after a while. Marriages are like cars: they need tune-ups. But suggesting that if a woman feeds and cares for a man, then it will satisfy him, is to deny the emotional life of a marriage.'

What worries Glick is how the advice in the book might affect a marriage in the long term. 'If women move out of a strong role into a submissive role as a result of this book, it could have serious consequences for her self-esteem,' she says.

'Maybe there will be chaps sitting in the pub slapping themselves on the back and saying, 'this is what we want', but in reality many men are proud of their wives as intellectual peers, professional peers and for financially taking some responsibility for the livelihood of the family. The best marriages are where two people are assertive. They don't label each other, they talk about their needs.'

Chinese University's Angela Wong says there are economic factors at play that make Schlessinger's scenario difficult to achieve in Hong Kong. 'There's a contradiction here because the hard fact is that Hong Kong families rarely can afford to have only one person with a paid job,' says Wong.

'A lot of middle-income families achieve this by both working and, of course, they're blessed by the help of migrant workers, which makes this possible. So, regardless of the public emphasis, which is very much still on the good mother and wife, women and men are beginning to share the domestic responsibilities.'

Alec Gore, a registered psychotherapist in Hong Kong and author of the website The Road (an online personal development course) is sceptical about books such as Schlessinger's, which he says seem to be based on a nostalgic longing for things to be 'like the way they were in our mother or grandmother's day' .

Gore much prefers the perspective of M. Scott Peck (the author of The Road Less Travelled), who wrote that 'true love only exists when two people are strong enough in their relationship to live independent lives, yet out of love choose to live together'.

'It's a fundamental premise that any type of behaviour going under the guise of 'love', which is basically sacrificial or slave-like, says more about the need-to-be-loved mindset of the person giving her partner everything he wants,' Gore says.

'My experience is that men pretty soon get bored with this kind of sycophantic behaviour, even if they enjoy it in the beginning. A strong relationship needs character and balance to survive.'