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Ladies in waiting

Alisa Phanthusak has a mission. 'I want to show the world,' she says, with a charming smile, 'that katoeys are human beings.'

Phanthusak is a woman who spends most of her time with men who look like women. As the daughter of the founder of the Tiffany Show, and now the managing director of the famous Pattaya transvestite cabaret, she knows better than most the daily struggle lady-boys face in their quest to change sex. She also knows their crowd-pulling potential: each day the box office tills ring as tourists - mostly from Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia, South Korea and Russia - pack into three shows to gawp at the be-feathered, sequinned, silicon-enhanced members of her troupe.

The Tiffany Show celebrates its 30th anniversary this year, making it the longest-running transvestite revue in Asia - if not the world - and Phanthusak is making plans to expand. 'Hong Kong or Macau, and perhaps Shanghai or Taiwan - all would be fantastic places for a Tiffany's Show,' she enthuses, when I meet her backstage at the Roccoco theatre.

Today is a big day, the annual Miss Tiffany's Universe Pageant is being held, at which aspiring transgendered beauties from across Thailand will fight for the winner's sash and tiara, not to mention a new car, cash and the chance of joining the regular show as one of its star performers.

'We're definitely going to take the show overseas,' she says, between shouting orders at minions and putting gaggles of giggling, jiggling pageant hopefuls through their paces. 'We have investors in place, but there are still legal issues to resolve. Part of my battle is convincing governments we are harmless, that the shows are good clean fun.'

Hong Kong or Macau would be her first choices if she can convince the respective governments of the show's tourist-pulling power and artistic merit. 'I've seen the Lisboa's Crazy Paris show,' she says, 'and believe me, what we offer is more sophisticated and a lot more fun.'

The shows, while risque in places, are never obscene. 'They are something the whole family can enjoy,' she adds. Well, that's assuming your family enjoys pneumatic buttocks hindered by nothing but the flimsiest bum-floss, and ballistic breasts, which from time to time escape their glittering constraints. Lady-boy cabarets have become tourist staples in the Land of Smiles. Besides Tiffany's, there is the Calypso Show at the Asia Hotel in Bangkok and the Simon Cabaret in Phuket, as well as a host of lesser and fairly amateurish shows in other parts of the country.

Tiffany's is the most lavish, and its shows are slick and well-produced, with breathtaking costumes and beautiful stars. It began with three performers who enjoyed dressing up and mimicking Broadway and pop divas like Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer and has grown to a cast of more than 100 with a state-of-the-art 1,000-seat theatre (which is now undergoing an expansion to meet growing demand for tickets).

Today, the pageant and the three regular shows are all sold out by mid-afternoon. The pageant, in its sixth year, is Phanthusak's brainchild, supported by the Tourism Authority of Thailand and a raft of eager sponsors.

The pageant is part of her mission to educate people. 'These - women of the second category - are accepted in Thailand, but it's not the same overseas. People come to see the Tiffany Show from all over the world, and many have the perception they're watching a bunch of freaks in frocks. At Miss Tiffany's Universe, they can hear the girls speak and learn about their backgrounds. I'm very particular about who competes. All of the girls have university or college degrees, or are still studying, or run their own businesses. I consider all of them ambassadors of Thailand.'

Some of the katoeys are more convincing than others and one or two are complete knockouts. But after watching for a while, you can usually see something doesn't quite add up. A jaw-line a little too masculine here. A hip-swinging strut exaggerated there. A delicate thing who speaks with a booming baritone. Or a cantilevered bosom that defies gravity rather too convincingly. A limp-wristed fellow in a crop top is flouncing about the stage, trying to bring order to a dance number rehearsal. 'I want drama, drama, drama,' he shrieks. 'Come on now, SHIMMY!' They do, in a stern test of their plastic surgeons' credentials.

During a dinner break before the pageant begins, I have the chance to speak to some of the girls. Everyone's buzzing on adrenaline. Melissa Pomerin, 24, contestant 12, has a megawatt smile, the longest pair of tanned, perfect legs I've ever seen, and gravity-defying breasts. She has her own make-up studio in Roi Et, a far-flung northeastern province.

'It would be so great to get into the show,' she says, adding it's her dream to perform abroad. 'I've heard Khun Alisa wants to take Tiffany's overseas. I'd definitely sign up if I got the chance. It's so exciting, getting up on stage, with all the make-up and bright lights.'

I ask her about her life growing up as a katoey in the country, but she's more interested in telling me about her new car. 'Growing up was okay for me. My parents got used to the idea that I was a girl early on. I'd known ever since I can remember. Hey, I just got a new Ford pick-up truck. I drove it here myself. Do you want a look? Oh, and wait until you see my dress - it's a white Versace copy, very sexy.'

When I arrive back at the theatre in the evening, the Tiffany Show is in full swing. The pageant won't get under way until 10pm, which makes it a long day for the contestants, who have been rehearsing since 9am. Backstage, the buzz is building. Contestants begin to arrive, most already in full make-up, as the girls from the show dart about in varying stages of panic and undress, wiggling into flamboyant costumes.

The amateurs are fascinated by the professionals; the professionals whisper and titter about the amateurs. Everyone is packed into two narrow dressing rooms, and a few fans beat uselessly against the sticky heat.

Pomerin arrives, in tracksuit and platform shoes, towering above me. 'Wish me luck darling,' she trills, planting an air kiss on my cheek. A twittering posse of assistants trail in her wake, one reverently bearing the aforementioned Versace knock-off dress.

As showtime looms, the preparation in the dressing room is reaching toxic levels. Many of the girls top 1.8 metres in their heels, and I feel like a pygmy in a tribe of amazons. Then the curtain goes up, and the next few hours pass in a blur of colour, energy and excitement.

I see Pomerin afterwards. She didn't win, but she made the final 10, out of 53 contestants. The winner is Saknarind Malyaporn, 19, a willowy northern beauty and one of the few who really could pass as a woman.

I also bump into Phanthusak in the foyer, champagne glass in hand, hobnobbing with the sponsors. 'What a night,' she says. 'It was the best pageant yet.'

She's on a high and tonight the sky seems the limit. 'Tonight, Pattaya,' she grins. 'Tomorrow, the world!' With her determination and energy, Phanthusak could be the woman to take Asia for a little walk on the wild side.

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