Love cannot be owned or achieved

PUBLISHED : Sunday, 13 February, 2005, 12:00am
UPDATED : Sunday, 13 February, 2005, 12:00am

With the Year of the Rooster now under way and Valentine's Day just around the corner, most of us will have checked our fortunes to see if our love life will flourish or if we will find romance. How many of you have had the following experience?

Checking out the horoscopes, you find you only rate two out of five stars in the love column. Being unconvinced, you try tarot cards, which show you some incomprehensible pictures. Consulting the manual, your cards imply a negative reading for love, with the resolving card telling you to avoid quarrels. Something to bear in mind.

Travelling on the bus, a Roadshow programme catches your attention. But it's bad news again - the star alignment will hinder your chances of meeting your ideal mate. You jot down the advice in your diary to put a glass of water or a fish tank in the North or Southeast side of your flat, under a window. You also take note that November will be a more suitable and lucky time to find love.

As if that wasn't enough, you find out from a magazine article that wearing a particular gemstone will increase your luck in finding love. So you buy an expensive pale pink bracelet, which helps you to feel more confident.

And just to make sure, you go to the Che Kung Temple to turn the fan-bladed wheel three times, and you throw an orange with your love wishes up into the branches of the Lam Tsuen wishing tree.

Feeling more assured than ever, you believe even if you don't have a date tomorrow, at least you're going to have one next year with all the hard work done.

But don't all these calculations, predictions and prescriptions make us unromantic? Love is a feeling, not an object you can catch and keep hold of. You can work hard and succeed in your studies, in your career, in your family relations, but love is not a goal to be achieved.

Don't make love a burden or worry. Let go and have a romantic Valentine's Day, even if you are alone.

Pulcheria is a regular SYP columnist.