Tell us a joke.

PUBLISHED : Sunday, 01 May, 2005, 12:00am
UPDATED : Sunday, 01 May, 2005, 12:00am

Annie Barnard, 17

A man drained all the water from his swimming pool. 'Why did you do that?' asked his wife. The man said: 'I want to practise diving but I can't swim.'

Libby Pei, 14

Two men stand at the edge of a cliff. One has a budgie on each shoulder. The other has a parrot and a shotgun. The first guy jumps. On the way down, the budgies fly away. The second man jumps and the parrot flies off. He fires his shotgun, shooting the bird just before crashing onto the rocks. Lying in agony, the first guy says, 'I don't see what's great about budgie jumping!' The second guy groans, 'Yeah, and what's so great about free fall parrot shooting?

Paul Sargent, 16

'After a conference, three soft drink executives go to a bar. The first executive tells the bartender 'I'll have a heavily-endorsed Pepsi.' The second executive says 'I'll have what the doctor ordered - a Dr. Pepper.' The third executive, who is from Coke, says 'I'll have an orange juice.' The bartender asks why. He replies, 'Well, I figured if these two weren't having Cola, neither would I.

Tony Ng, 17

'A little girl visits a zoo for the first time. Apparently, she is smart - she can spell the names of each animal there. 'Wow! This leopard is beautiful! Look at its spots,' says the excited girl. However, when she sees the sign hung on the freshly-painted cage which reads 'WET PAINT', she shouts in frustration, 'Oh no, I thought the spots on it were real!'

Adam Tam, 16

I'm funny! Okay, no, that's not the joke.

Q. What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?

A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

Kim-ling Humphrey, 14

I'm not great at telling jokes, but I'll try my best. I heard this in computer class and I love it because it has the ability of making other people look dim. Here goes: Two fish in a tank, one says 'I'll drive, you man the gun.'