As told to Justin Sweeting
Admittedly it's only 9.30pm, but my girl friends are still looking fairly classy as they sip their cosmos and let their eyes wander. It's the after-work crowd at Stormy Weather in Lan Kwai Fong that's catching their gaze. So many suits! Does nobody have time to go home and change - or is it just a ploy? Throw a suit on an ordinary guy, add a few too many drinks and anything can happen. Trust me.
Anyway, the 80s music is great, the staff are friendly and the night has potential. After coming back from the toilet upstairs - one for a crowd of 50 women - I find my flatmate crying. What did I miss? It's still a bit early for the 'you guys are my best friends' speech. 'I got dumped,' she says. 'I'm not upset because I liked him - I got dumped by a clown'. Literally. The guy is a professional clown.
'Fair enough,' I say. 'This calls for some shots.' So, we trek across the road to Al's Diner for its famous jelly shots. Ten shots later, we forget about the clown and we're on our way.
It seems the moment that someone utters the words: 'Wan Chai', we're being whisked away by a man in a red cab asking: 'Joe Banana?' Within 10 minutes I find myself among what looks to be the under-21 crowd at Venue. After some casual talk at the bar I realise that the girls have taken over the stage and duty calls.
I dance the night away until my desire for a kebab takes over. I stroll across the street to order a tikka to keep me company for the ride home. As I'm handed the food, I realise I'm left with only $20 of the $600 I left home with. Thankfully, the nice people at Ebeneezer's insist that I take this one and pay them back next time. I'm both grateful for their generosity and ashamed that they know I'll be stumbling in again later in the week.