Bye bye Kitty
A group of rebel gweilos has started a cross-border campaign against cultural imperialist Sanrio, led by that evil empress Hello Kitty.
Tired of her omnipresent extreme cuteness that borders on obscenity, the campaigners - associated with a green group that I have been told not to name because it is their own private initiative - are asking people to take back their cultural space in Hong Kong and on the mainland.
If that sounds a little abstract, just pay them 60 yuan and this dark T-shirt featuring an executed Kitty will be yours to keep.
The campaigners have recently carried out a ritualistic beheading of the world's wealthiest cat in Beijing.
'Kitty has dominated markets and is taking over everywhere,' one of the group said. 'Down with that horrible little cat Kitty! First of all, it is a total rip-off of Miffy and second of all, I HATE HER! That whole cute-girl culture made me come up with the idea to print T-shirts with various ways of how Kitty could die so we finally could say bye bye Kitty.'
A tearful Kitty fan and manager in my office pleaded: 'Don't kill her - she is a nice kitty who has been a faithful companion to so many people when we were growing up. She has no mouth, she never offends anyone!'
Think again, she obviously does.
We tried to reach Sanrio for comment but no one answered the phone.