I can't count the number of complaints I have received in the past about the dearth of quality sports programming in Hong Kong. Well, this weekend it's time to sit up, shut up, and drink up because we are finally being served.

That's the good news. The bad news is few of those events are happening in prime time. The US Open and the majority of the World Cup will be landing in the middle of the night which might help to explain why most of the town is jet-lagged despite having not ventured anywhere near an airport.

The World Cup, in particular, wreaks havoc on employers who grow weary of high absenteeism. But fortunately, it only happens once every four years so concessions have to be made.

In fact, concessions should be made on a number of fronts, particularly in matters of the heart. With all the quality sports programming on TV, this is the one time a man should be able to indulge with impunity while hearing nary a dissenting word from his significant other. She simply has to realise that you will be distracted for a while and any woman who can't understand why her man is fixated on the tube these days should be granted an uncontested divorce because there is no middle ground.

Now far be it for me to hand out marital advice, but in my humble opinion any relationship worth a damn will survive this sporting orgy on offer.

The only potential problem I can see on the horizon is there are far too many options. Naturally, some of these events will clash, so let me offer my services here to help guide you through the coming days.

First off, be grateful that the Stanley Cup is not on commercial TV anywhere around Hong Kong because if it was it would render every other event moot. Of course, this is coming from a Canadian, but so what. I have seen the first four games of the finals between the Edmonton Oilers and the Carolina Hurricanes and even if you don't understand the game, you could not help but to be mesmerised.

The pace has been non-stop, the atmosphere electric. There is no diving and no whining, just end to end action on a spectacular level. But unless you or someone you know has a devilish little device called a sling box, which allows you to transport the cable TV from a screen in North America to Hong Kong, the only place you can see the Stanley Cup around here will be a couple of days after the fact on videotape.

The NBA play-offs are on offer and up until this point even the most disillusioned basketball fan has to admit that this year's post-season fare was surprisingly entertaining. With the finals between the Dallas Mavericks and the Miami Heat knotted at two games a piece, it should make for an interesting resolution, despite the fact there are really only two riveting performers on display, the Heat's Dwyane Wade and the Mavericks' Dirk Nowitizki.

But you're going to be sleeping off that World Cup hangover tomorrow morning for game five and Wednesday morning for game six, right?

The one event that is suffocating all others is of course the World Cup and this is where choices should be made. If for instance you're dragging your butt around because you had to watch Saudi Arabia play Tunisia in the middle of the night, you probably do need help.

I don't care how good a game it may have been, neither team could beat a bottom level English Premier League side.

In fact, many of the games in the first round have been largely uninspiring, which should make the decision in the wee hours of tomorrow morning between the final round of the US Open or Spain playing Tunisia pretty easy.

However, the best of the World Cup is clearly in front of us. Match-ups like the Netherlands and Argentina, Portugal playing Mexico and the Czechs taking on Italy should make for a sleepless week.

And while you may lose your job and your woman because of it, look on the bright side. It's going to be awful hard to find a replacement for you in these next few weeks.