Steroids, schmeroids. All we hear is drugs, drugs, drugs. Can he really lift that weight/run at the speed of light/is that bicep bulge all his?

Sometimes it seems as if sport these days is all about little white pills and urine samples. Yet if we go back to the days of the ancient Olympics, all the athletes ran in the nude, which added to the entertainment value, and those looking for a little help, something to warm the cockles, energise and rehydrate, drank a cup of lizard's blood. None of this namby-pamby 'ooh, I've cut my knee' run to mummy rubbish. Ancient athletes just took their kit off, rubbed on the olive oil and got on with it.

Now that's what I call sport.