I don't know about you, but my wife says I have very predictable 'triggers' in daily life that are guaranteed every time to get me chuntering away in disgust. I am reliably informed these include the behaviour of inconsiderate motorists, traffic jams or sitting at a red traffic light for four minutes (trust me I have timed them, while gently fuming).
When it comes to motorsport it has to be the blatant sexism that abounds. In this matter it is not my wife who rolls her eyes as I go off on one for five minutes, but my co-commentator. For the past couple of seasons I have been covering the GP2 series, the support race for the F1 event, but my gripe is valid for any level of the sport.
The 'trigger' for this is the so-called 'pit babes'. Do me a favour - this is supposed to be the 21st century. A fine, good-looking bunch they are of course and very easy on the eye. But the beautiful curved things on the grid the camera should be focusing on are the cars.
Just as the Miss World contest for most of us has become outdated, surely the idea of having models beautify the grid is an anachronism. The only qualifications are to wear as little clothing as the particular country's culture will permit, hold a board up by the correct car, and make a pathetic little half hand wave at the leering cameraman as he does the obligatory pan shot from legs upwards.
Log on to many motorsport websites and there are prominent areas devoted to galleries of these women. I thought there were other websites devoted to mild titillation.
Of course it doesn't have to be this way. At the very least half of them should be lycra-clad blokes for the female fans. But two wrongs don't make a right, do they? If the pit babes were to be fired, I'm sure there would be long and loud protests from a section of hot-blooded males. But they'd get used to it, and think of the opportunities that could arise as a result. Twenty places on the grid available to fans. No real experience of anything needed, just be able to stand in one spot for half an hour holding a board. No pay, but in return you'd get the experience of a lifetime.
Knowing the nature of F1, they'd probably auction the chance to the highest bidder, but wouldn't it be great to let the great unwashed and unmonied fan get up close. Newspapers like this one could run competitions. Those going through the gates could be given a raffle ticket with the results announced at the track. How cool would that be, with some hospitality thrown in afterwards.