'We have the technology to lift men's dateability'

PUBLISHED : Sunday, 22 June, 2008, 12:00am
UPDATED : Sunday, 22 June, 2008, 12:00am

This probably won't surprise half of you, but most men are quite useless when it comes to understanding what women want.

This ineptitude has led to the creation of a cottage industry to help men 'get' women. Two industry players are in town this weekend to lead could-be Casanovas through an HK$11,000 dating boot camp.

Angel and Syboh - whose pseudonyms prevent misunderstandings about the nature of their course spilling into their normal life - say they can improve men's 'dateability' by imparting knowledge of their definition of 'social dynamics'.

Angel said: 'Dating is all about social dynamics. We have this technology ... a means for showing people how the world really works.'

The 'technology' is modelled on techniques made famous in the best-selling novel The Game - about a shy man who transforms himself into the world's No1 pickup artist.

But their teachings are not a way of conning your way into a woman's affections, or her undergarments. 'It is not about being manipulative, it's about displaying your qualities.'

Syboh said a key part of the course was helping clients realise their worth - to accept that they have something to offer women, and then giving them the tools to manage interaction with them.

'A lot of these guys are the 'great guys' that women are always complaining they can never find.

'They couldn't find them because these guys weren't outgoing. They didn't believe they should display their personality and they were always questioning themselves.'

Another key tip is that people should try to be socially active, getting involved in all sorts of activities.

'We encourage them to do more to get themselves out there. And when they do meet new people, they will have the techniques to maintain conversation and make new connections using social dynamics,' Syboh said. 'If you're social all the time, then you will have more phone numbers than you can possibly follow up.'

It is a sentiment shared in some respects by Helen Revans, a life coach and founder of Fearless in Life, who agreed that the key was to be proactive. 'Getting out and being sociable and friendly is a key action for meeting that possible person you want to date or your ideal mate.

'Usually anxiety is caused by the fear of not being good enough and a person's own ... fears. Often people will ask themselves disempowering questions such as 'What is she thinking about me?' rather than simply focusing on being friendly and not having any attachment to an outcome, such as a date.'

Michael, a 32-year-old businessman, attended one of Angel's and Syboh's seminars this year and raves about the results. 'Before my social life was OK. now it's exceptional. I'm meeting so many girls it's hard to keep track of them.'

Price of love

A dating boot camp helps could-be Casanovas grasp the workings of courtship

The cost of the course over two days is, in HK dollars, $11,000