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Union gap

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To Mark Allan, who grew up in the Welsh countryside, a wedding meant church bells, a white dress and dinner in a marquee. So it wouldn't be an understatement to say that the British schoolteacher felt just a little overwhelmed with the sheer unfamiliarity of his own nuptials in a remote village in the Philippines, the birthplace of his wife.

'Her family slaughtered a pig in our honour and pumped water out of a well,' the 47-year old says. 'It was all very primitive and quite a shock to the system at the time.'

Allan's experience may seem unusual, but dealing with cultural and social differences is often just the tip of the iceberg in interracial and intercultural marriages, particularly in instances where the individuals come from very different backgrounds.

'Interracial and intercultural marriages are not intrinsically harder, but because the differences are more pronounced, there may be more surprises,' says Richard Gee, a counsellor at ReSource the Counselling Centre.

Every couple has to form rules for their relationship, he says, although for mixed-ethnicity couples, establishing that blueprint can prove more complex than for couples that share the same ethnic background.

'It is often trickier to negotiate aspects of the relationship because there can be so much more up for negotiation,' he explains. 'It requires more explanation and discussion between the two people as they may have completely different models of the world and the way society is organised.'

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