1 Edison Chen testifies he's determined to protect female victims' innocence ... hasn't he already taken that from them?
2 Shaolin monks keen to build temple school here ... we warn you now: the school bullies will be lightning-fast and lethal.
3 Rapid response team to aid shopping scam victims ... unfortunately, you can't get the same kind of urgent help if you fall ill at our hospitals.
4 Securities watchdog delays Richard Li Tzar-kai's PCCW buyout ... it's been slow, frustrating and he's paying for it - that's kind of like using his Netvigator service.
5 Number of high-income earners drops by 15 per cent ... at least now it's very trendy to be considered a slumdog millionaire.'