An elegant insult is the best way to give someone a serve

PUBLISHED : Saturday, 22 August, 2009, 12:00am
UPDATED : Saturday, 22 August, 2009, 12:00am

You have to admit that our mood swings often somehow correspond to the fluctuations of the Hang Sang Index, and when the economy is tough, our moods are rough. You are bound to clash with people around you, whether family, friends, colleagues or even strangers sharing the train compartment. Instead of running away and lying about it, it is time to learn how to insult people in an elegant way. Out of numerous pieces of trashy junk mail we have received this week, we found a treasure. It lectures on the art of insulting people. Here are some examples:

Example 1
An exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor (first female member of the House of Commons):

She said: 'If you were my husband, I'd give you poison.' He said: 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'

Example 2
'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar Wilde

Example 3
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: 'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend ... if you have one.' Churchill replied: 'Cannot possibly attend first night ... will attend second ... if there is one.'

Example 4
'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' - Oscar Wilde Learned anything yet?