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Jeeves warned to keep his hair on

CERTAIN select households in desirable locations around town who have the services of a butler trained at the acclaimed Ivor Spencer School in London (we assure you there are a few) will have what is described as a ''tactful'' letter dropping through their letter box sometime this week.

It will be in the form of a directive from Spencer to his erstwhile students - which has been leaked to Keeping Posted - on the heady subject of wigs and toupees.

The matter, it appears, has taken on some urgency after an incident involving a Spencer-trained butler in Washington last Friday who was serving the fish course at a private dinner given by a leading hostess in Capitol Hill.

As the fax sent to us from London suggests, the poor fellow was bending down to dish it up from an elegant silver salver when his toupee slipped off and - to cut a distressing story short - the guest of honour was served a blond hairpiece without dressing instead of the Scottish river salmon he was rather hoping for.

Grabbing the errant hirsute object in question with one hand and balancing the silver salver in the other, our Jeeves made a hasty retreat in the direction of the kitchen - with uncontrollable laughter ringing in his years. The situation wasn't helped when the elegant host confessed that the hapless butler had been working for her for 10 years and she never knew he was bald.

But butlers, as we all know, are of a different breed.

So back, a few moments later, came the butler in slow and dignified step - but this time with his shiny pate exposed.

And all the guests stood up and clapped and cheered.

The aforementioned is all outlined in the Spencer missive which is winging its way to Hong Kong and other parts of the region.

As Spencer, who visits the territory once a year to check on the progress of his former students decrees: ''If you wear a wig or toupee, make certain it is firmly in place''.

Yes, indeed.

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