How did Woof Woof the dog manage to tie up at least half a dozen government officials, generate an impressive clutch of signed and countersigned reports, as well as accompanying photographs, photocopies and telecoms traffic?
Well, Woof Woof (names have been changed to protect the vulnerable) is alleged to have bitten Dopey the dog. This is not the first recorded instance in canine history of dog biting dog. Indeed some experts would classify this incident as 'commonplace' and possibly 'hardly worth getting excited about'.
However, these experts appear to be absent from the corridors of Hong Kong's labyrinthine bureaucracy. Although the names have been changed, this Kafkaesque tale is lamentably a true story and it's ongoing. Moreover, it is typical rather than an aberration.
What happened was that Dopey's owner called the police to report this astonishing incident and a bevy of officers arrived to investigate. With some assistance, they were able to identify a small wound. At this point, you may have thought they would have urged Dopey's owner to calm down. But no, Woof Woof's owner was summoned to rush back home from a meeting some miles away and, when he declined to do so, a chief inspector was mobilised to summon him. Eventually the officer was persuaded that this was hardly a life-and-death matter and might be better resolved by applying some common sense.
However, common sense was on leave in the bureaucratic arena and so the 'case' was passed to the Agriculture, Fisheries and Conservation Department which mobilised impressively, sending out investigators to interview all parties, taking pictures and goodness knows what else. The matter was then passed to yet another department, which is currently sifting through the pile of paperwork that this little bite has generated.
Is there a point to this story, aside from the obvious one about herculean time-wasting? Actually there is, because this microcosm of nonsense exemplifies how Hong Kong's bloated bureaucracy works. Minor officials are given practically no discretion and know that if they are to climb the bureaucratic tree they need to stick rigidly to the rules and leave a long paper trail to prove they have done so.
Further up the tree are senior officials who are supposed to use their initiative but see this as a dangerous concept, preferring to stick to procedures even if they understand how flawed they are.