Dandy & Dapper
I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm getting older and I might need to buy face creams, like my girlfriend does. My eyes are my biggest problem, so I thought I'd start there, with one of those eye roller things. Please tell me which one so I can avoid the embarrassment of testing them in stores.
Mr Dandy: Baby steps, dude. Now, I don't mean to spook you, but we need to spend a little more time using grooming terms. I know you probably like the roll-on because it's like a gadget, but it might not be what you need. Eye creams address specific problems such as dark circles, wrinkles and puffiness. If I haven't already lost you, look in the mirror and figure out what your primary concerns are. Gels are great for de-puffing tired-looking eye bags. Among roll-ons, I like Lab Series' Instant Moisture Eye Gel (HK$314; www.strawberrynet.com) and Biotherm Homme's High Recharge Yeux Anti-Fatigue Cold Eye Serum (HK$399.50). If you want to deal with wrinkles, you should look for a cream such as Clinique's Men's Age Defense for Eyes, which is made with antioxidant vitamins C and E (HK$220; Elements, 1 Austin Road West, Kowloon, tel: 2196 8480). Remember, some products are non-chromosome specific. There should be no embarrassment in using, say, the awesome but pricey Prevage Eye Anti-aging Serum (HK$842; www.strawberrynet.com).
Mr Dapper: Blah, blah, blah. When you're done with all the primping and time-wasting, stick a few teaspoons in the fridge and when you wake up puffy-eyed, get one out and hold it over your eye for a while. One drugstore find you can pick up and pay for in 60 seconds flat, though, is L'Oreal Men Expert Hydra Energetic Ice Cool Eye Roll-On (HK$178; Watsons or Mannings). In case you can't tell, I'm pretty sceptical about all the marketing that goes into expensive eye treatments. If you have dark circles around your eyes, then get some sleep!
I consider myself something of a dandy and am more than at home wearing a pocket square or a cravat. Recently, I've been toying with the idea of a monocle; my grandfather used to wear one and I'm sad to think that this sartorial statement is now considered so outdated. Dare I try and blow on the embers of this ocular fashion item?
Mr Dandy: No, I'm the Dandy. (Let's not go around in circles.) You, sir, are just being silly. Haven't you heard? The latest trend is the Nonocle, which involves walking around with an exaggerated squint. Not really, but it's not that much more ridiculous than using outmoded corrective eye gear. Out of sheer curiosity, since it's possible to have almost anything custom-made in Hong Kong, I visited some opticians and asked about monocles. On the rare occasion that they actually knew what I was talking about, I was laughed out of the shop. So, you, like most people with obscure and possibly unhealthy fetishes, must turn to the internet - www.eyeglass.com sells monocles with metal or tortoiseshell frames and plain or prescription lenses for US$60 and up. Or you could buy a monocle from an antiques dealer, but you'll run into the same problem when looking for a prescription.
Mr Dapper: Unless you have no ears, in which case, I'm very sorry, there's no logical reason to wear a monocle. Well, you could don one for a costume party, I suppose, if you've chosen to go as Mr Peanut. It might have been a popular fashion accessory of 19th-century dandies, but this is 2011, and spectacles have a come a long way since then.