Memoirists' first requirement: get a life

PUBLISHED : Saturday, 03 September, 2011, 12:00am
UPDATED : Saturday, 03 September, 2011, 12:00am


Another week, another autobiography. This time it's In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir, by former US vice-president Dick Cheney. The book outlines Cheney's thinking on and version of the September 11, 2001, attacks, the 'war on terror', the war in Afghanistan, the run-up to the 2003 Iraq war, and enhanced interrogation techniques.

It would be great if these enhanced interrogation techniques could also be practised on today's 'celebrities' to make them think twice about putting out books about themselves. Everyone and anyone seem to be publishing their life stories these days. The problem is they are either too young or talentless to be interesting.

Take Confessions of an Heiress by Paris Hilton, a young woman who inherited millions and never worked a day in her life. Well, she did make a porn film with her boyfriend a few years ago, but as with all these vapid journals, the one thing that's actually worth reading is what's always left out.

It's the same with English soccer player Wayne Rooney's My Story So Far - 'so far' being the operative words, as the Manchester United striker is only 25. He may win the Champions League with his club, but stringing a few words together appears to be a bridge too far for our hero.

Much like Paris, his nocturnal affairs would make for much more entertaining reading - he cheated on his wife with a prostitute and then had the affair splashed all over the British tabloids - but instead he gives us more wholesome stories.

Luckily, Hong Kong celebrities aren't into the craze that much. But if they suddenly feel the urge, could they please do us all a favour - make sure they are over the age of 60 and have talent before picking up a pen.