We have to learn to forgive and forget

PUBLISHED : Monday, 17 October, 2011, 12:00am
UPDATED : Monday, 17 October, 2011, 12:00am


We have all experienced the feeling of holding a grudge - a feeling of resentment over a slight, real or imagined.

The question is: what should we do in such cases? Should we ignore a person we hold a grudge against or should we just forgive and forget?

Conflicts are inevitable even among family members and friends. We ought to learn how to resolve such conflicts.

First of all, we should put ourselves into other people's shoes. Before we object to their behaviour, we should ask ourselves if we would behave differently in their place.

Another important thing is to try and remain calm even if we are annoyed by other people.

I used to hate a friend and found her annoying. I always tried to avoid seeing her. Then I realised that instead of shunning her, I should discuss matters with her. She apologised to me and we put our differences aside. That taught me that we have to learn to forgive and forget.

Joey Cho Kei-yuet, Pooi To Middle School

From the Editor

Thank you for your letter, Joey. It is easy to remain angry - in a way, it makes us feel better after someone has done something wrong to us. By expressing anger, it's almost as if we feel superior to them. We recognise their fault, and so we feel justified in being offended by their behaviour.

It's far harder to recognise that someone who offends us is only human and capable of making mistakes.

Forgiveness, and letting go of anger, is far better for everyone. Being angry is exhausting, and being exhausted is bad for your health.

While the natural reaction to someone doing something wrong to you is to get angry, the sooner you let go of that grudge, the better: for your relationship with that person, for the offending person and, perhaps, most importantly, for yourself.

Karly, Deputy Editor