Against the idea of love at first sight

PUBLISHED : Wednesday, 16 November, 2011, 12:00am
UPDATED : Wednesday, 16 November, 2011, 12:00am


There are many reasons why we may fall in love with someone. Some people fall in love at first sight. Others develop a loving relationship with someone they have known for a long time. I believe many women think they instinctively know when they meet Mr Right.

However, I think the cases of love at first sight are rarely lasting. Throughout our lives, we may come to love many people. But when you reflect on your relationships, you realise that deep bonds are not based on superficial appearances. Personally, I try never to judge anyone by their looks. It is much more important that you can get along well with a person.

The 'love at first sight' idea is a staple of romance so we want to experience it in our lives, too.

Yet true love is not a spur-of-the-moment emotion but rather a long-lasting affection for someone.

Winnie Wong, STFA Tam Pak Yu College

From the Editor

Thank you for your letter, Winnie. A romantic relationship is a very tricky thing to get right. It requires patience, understanding, co-operation, and generosity.

Often when we see someone we find attractive, we assume they are good/ kind/ interesting/ smart/ fill in the adjective people. This is known in psychology as the halo effect - our perception of one trait (such as personality or intelligence) is influenced by our perception of another trait, frequently the way someone looks.

Of course, you can feel attraction at first sight. You may think long hair makes a boy handsome, for example. But you can't, no matter what movies and novels tell us, fall in love at first sight.

As you grow up, you will no doubt meet many people you could fall in love with. Take your time to get to know a potential partner. Be kind and patient, interesting and understanding. Respect people as individuals, but respect yourself, too. Remember that what you see isn't always what you get. So you should always get to know someone before falling in love - or deciding you could never love them.

Karly, Deputy Editor