'It's not fair, Dad. It's not fair, Mum.' This is one of the first complaints that young children make to their parents. And now it's a cry that's echoing through the boardrooms of Asia's family businesses, as these move towards next-generation leadership and ownership.
The irony is that many of the tensions in Asia's family firms stem from a well-intentioned desire to avoid conflict. Indeed, avoiding conflict is a core value in many Asian cultures. Confucianism's emphasis on respect for elders is a form of conflict-avoidance that may work very well at home. But it can lead to confusion and simmering resentment in the family factory, as the sons and daughters of the founder start to take control. Sooner or later, the perceived lack of fairness explodes into all-out conflict. And although many companies thrive on a bit of constructive conflict, in a family business, there's no escaping it when you go home in the evening. In the end, the risk is that both the family and the business self-destruct.
The barriers to fairness are clear but they often come as a surprise to business families - not least to the founder, who has traditionally focused all his or her talents and energies on building the business. Now, however, it's time to focus on building a long-lasting family business.
Allocating ownership and dividends, deciding who should lead both family and business, agreeing the rules of careers and governance - these are the new issues on the table. And every single one of them has the potential to turn into a conflict, if the family has not planned and made decisions together.
Let's imagine an all-too-typical scenario. You are a devoted son who accepted the burdensome responsibility of avoiding conflict in early childhood and the post of company president in your father's business on finishing your MBA. One day, your father (founder and chairman) tells the production manager (who reports to you) to change a manufacturing process that you implemented last week - without discussing it with you.
So what do you do?