Ideally divorcing couples can part as friends. In real life, though, the process can get very ugly, with drawn-out disputes over issues like division of assets and alimony payments. Fights can get particularly nasty when children are used to get back at an estranged spouse, as former nurse Doris Chong Lai-man knows only too well.
Although her marriage ended last year, the 47-year-old and her ex-husband, a civil servant, continued to quarrel over the upbringing of their two teenage sons.
'My boys have had behavioural problems since I separated from him,' Chong says. 'They have low confidence and fight all the time. So I wanted to sign them up for activities they were interested in to help them vent their anger.
'My older son likes playing piano. But my ex-husband refused to buy a piano for him. When I proposed enrolling [our sons] in a study tour in Australia he said no again. This was despite the fact that I offered to pay all the expenses.
'He attaches too much importance to money. He is afraid that I will ask him for money after I use up my savings.'
Divorce is on the rise in Hong Kong with 18,167 cases registered in 2010, up 35 per cent from 2001. At the same time, more divorced couples are turning to the courts to settle their disputes. District courts handled 17,359 new matrimonial cases in 2010, compared with 13,737 in 2001.
To reduce bitter custody battles, the government proposed last month that divorced couples have joint responsibility for raising their children. Public consultations on the proposal will continue through April, but organisations involved in family welfare say the model is not feasible without a compulsory mediation system and adequate co-parenting education.