I am an only child born in the first wave of China's controversial one-child policy. From the minute I was born, I was inundated with attention from two loving parents and four doting grandparents.
I grew up amid a sea of other only children. When I had my first child, I knew I had to have another. I understood just how spoiled only children are and I didn't want my child to be a little emperor. Never having to share your parents' affections is strange, and it affects you in life.
But having that second child was not easy. Even with just one child, I struggled to balance working with motherhood. I feel the wave of guilt every morning when heading to work. Some days, it's difficult closing the front door behind me.
My second pregnancy was the kind you read about - not as in What to Expect When You're Expecting, but more like in What to Expect When Everything Goes Horribly Wrong. At one point, both my baby's life and my life were in danger. Still, I soldiered on.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, when I lay alone in the hospital separated from my family for a month, what kept me going was the thought of all those people in my life who at one point or another hissed at me with 'you're so selfish because you are an only child'. I hated that they put in that last part, hated that I couldn't argue with it.
I was determined not to let my older son down as I clutched my pink Queen Mary maternity ward pyjamas, pyjamas I was practically swimming in because my baby bump was so small. Many people in Hong Kong, when they heard of my second pregnancy troubles, simply shook their heads and said, 'But you already have one. Why can't you leave well enough alone?'