Get a life – on Facebook!

Mark Zuckerberg announced a 'Facebook phone' last week where users can browse friends' status updates 24/7

PUBLISHED : Tuesday, 09 April, 2013, 10:56am
UPDATED : Saturday, 27 April, 2013, 4:17pm


I can tell I am turning more intelligent by the day because I have been, like most of my friends, spending more time on my “smartphone”.

For one thing, I don't eat alone anymore - something I truly enjoyed before the arrival of iPhones - without the company of my device. Its absence somehow makes me look dumb and takes away a good appetite.

With my high-tech companion, I can swallow my food with gusto, after taking pictures of my HK$40 lunch set and sharing them on Instagram, where I already have two followers since joining a month ago, or on Facebook, where there's a slightly larger readership.

The point is I am "connecting" - with the entire world, all of the time. Isn't that what the new generation of oversharing is about?

I carry my smartphone to the toilet so I don’t miss the latest Twitter and Facebook updates from friends. It is NOT acceptable to miss any post from their vacations in Hawaii or on their exotic meals in New York City, nor the precious moments when they changed their newborns' diapers - even if that means I have to “like” their posts from a toilet.

I’ve learned to appreciate 140-character, Twitter-style messages and, like my peers, dislike anything longer. People from the old school say it’s not real reading, but I disagree- it’s a revolutionary kind of reading that is also pain-free. Give it a chance, you would like nothing better. 

For all I know, Henry David Thoreau would have loved an iPhone 5 or a Galaxy Note in his reclusive days in the forest. He would have missed NOTHING from the real world - definitely not the latest unfoldings of the H7N9 bird flu cases in China.

I am certain Thoreau would have live-tweeted his days and years of “solitude”, whatever that means. And he would have been overjoyed by the enthusiastic comments from fans - isn’t it nice to be loved instantly?

That’s why I was blown away when a smart-looking Zuckerberg announced last week plans to roll out  a “Facebook phone”.  These newfangled devices will be equipped with software that allows users to receive "upfront notifications and a steady stream of friends’ photos and posts" - 24/7, interruption-free. 

That's what Zuckerberg called "innovation". Admit it, life sucks and “solitude” is for losers. Why not simply buy a US$100 phone to end all my problems and start living a real life -  and a smarter one too?