OpinionMaradona at China helm would be irresistible

Some matches are made in heaven and some are made in hell. Diego Maradona and soccer in China is both. I mean, can you imagine? One of the most outrageous, self-serving and gifted sportsmen has made it clear he would like to run China's national team. It's not like Maradona could possibly soil any sort of legacy. Since China returned to Fifa in 1979, they have qualified for one of eight World Cups and will not be playing in Brazil in 2014 either. That is beyond embarrassing, particularly in a country that is absolutely stupid for soccer.

In 2002, when China made their only appearance at the World Cup, 170 million new TVs were sold. With 1.3 billion people in a football-mad country, they still can't find 11 men to beat the likes of Jordan and Iraq in World Cup qualifying but they can find a slew of speed skaters to win a bunch of Olympic gold medals. Actually they don't find gold medal speed skaters; they make them. Because there is not much creativity involved in skating around an oval again and again; constant training is the key.

It's a perfect sport for a culture built on rote learning. But when soccer is flowing and is truly the beautiful game, the ability to adapt and improvise is the soul of it. China's lack of creativity, both on and off the pitch, is a major impediment to their success.

Changing that would require nothing short of a cultural overhaul. Still, Maradona is undeterred. In 2011, Dubai's Al-Wasl of the UAE Football League signed Maradona to a two-year contract for US$9 million, as well as the use of a private jet, to help get them out of fourth place in the 12-team league. No problem there. Under Maradona they finished eighth and not surprisingly he was fired last month. Also, not surprisingly, he bemoaned the lack of talent he had to work with.

For the past week and a half he has been kicking around the mainland, where his agent made it known to China Football Association (CFA) officials that Maradona would like to coach the national team. "I want to contribute to the development of young football players in China," he said. Good luck with that, Diego.

China are the 69th ranked team in the world, three spots behind Jamaica and one back of Morocco. And there is also the small issue of the coach of the national team, Spaniard Jose Camacho, who signed a three-year contract last year for a reported US$24 million. Despite having a far more stellar coaching resume than Maradona, Camacho still failed to lead the team to a qualifying spot in the 2014 World Cup so he must be on somewhat shaky ground.