Women should stop putting up with the casual put-down
Alice Wu says women should speak up against being talked about – or talked to – in a way that is discriminatory. Words are important as they reflect our character
There is a lot of work to be done, and as we – men and women – celebrate International Women’s Day on Wednesday, I hope we will all aspire to be better people, beginning with the way we talk about and to women. This is not about political correctness, but about respect. The words we choose are reflections of character.
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Perhaps we have become desensitised to these insensitive comments made casually, and the time has come to be sensitive to them. We have to be more aware of the words we use, often without much thinking, precisely because they shed light on our subconscious.
It is pretty prevalent – the condescending and sometimes completely false explanations (“alternative facts”) offered as a way of belittling, discrediting and, ultimately, silencing women. Solnit wrote that “a certain amount of self-doubt is a good tool for correcting, understanding, listening and progressing – though too much is parlaying and total self-confidence produces arrogant idiots”.
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A few weeks ago, I had a most surreal conversation about Lent. I had voiced my objection to the church holding carnivals during Lent, and as a result I was “mansplained” by a priest who said that my understanding of the word carnival is not the same as the Chinese word for carnival (classic gaslighting). Granted, the mansplaining priest isn’t known for his women-empowering ways or intellectual pursuits, but his overconfidence is pitiful. For the record, the Chinese word for carnival is a transliteration of the word “carnival”, much like the Cantonese word for “taxi”. Carnival is actually a Western Christian festive season that occurs before, and definitely not during, the liturgical season of Lent.
The theme for International Women’s Day 2017 is #BeBoldForChange. One thing we can do in our everyday life is to start being bold about speaking up against the “little” things, against every attempt to gaslight and belittle women.
Alice Wu is a political consultant and a former associate director of the Asia Pacific Media Network at UCLA