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Staff at a Hooters restaurant in Beijing. Photo: AFP

Mothers should tell their daughters good looks are transient

I read with interest the article by Charley Lanyon on objectification ("Object lesson", March 31).

However, the photos accompanying this article (two sets of smiling, pouting girls showing off their physical attributes) show that this problem is more complex than we might like to think.

" looks at how women are portrayed in media and advertising in Hong Kong" could be replaced by "let themselves be portrayed". Shouldn't we ask what makes young women do this? Why do they degrade themselves voluntarily? Possible answers could be: it's fun, easy money, it makes me feel good about myself. The bad state of the economy and lack of jobs? I doubt it.

Many women are addicted to the attention and appreciation men give them. They confuse appreciation of their looks with appreciation of their personality. Pretty girls soon realise their beauty gives them enormous power and that they can make money "selling" their looks or their body, in advertising, fashion or the hospitality industry. The decision to use their bodies or let themselves be portrayed in a sexist way is their choice - one to which they are fully entitled. However, they perpetuate a depiction of girls and women which leads to objectification as can be seen from the many stories of abuse in industries where pretty girls abound.

So what can we do to turn the tide? First, mothers must make it clear to their daughters that good looks are transient and relying on them too much, for self-esteem or income, is a hazardous strategy which, inevitably, will fall flat. Tell them that attention derived from beauty or sexy looks can easily derail and lead to unpleasant or dangerous situations. And appreciation of their physical attributes has nothing to do with who they are.

Second, lead by example. There's nothing so sad as a mother trying to look younger than her daughter. As long as girls see women well into their fifties and sixties doing their utmost to keep up the sexy look we can only blame ourselves for continued objectification.

To address objectification women must honestly look at their own behaviour as an important reason for the way men look at them. As long as we cannot give up on the sexy look and the rewards it brings us the situation will not change. Simply blaming the media or industries that use sexist images is a waste of time.

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as: Mothers should tell their daughters good looks are transient
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