The 25 worst films of 2017 so far, from rom-com 77 Heartbreaks to roman porno White Lily

It’s been a big six months for cinema, but it hasn’t been without its flops – here is our list of films that failed to make the cut

PUBLISHED : Wednesday, 14 June, 2017, 1:33pm
UPDATED : Wednesday, 14 June, 2017, 1:33pm

Enlightened by our list of the best films to reach our screens this year? Here, in alphabetical order, are 25 of the worst films released in Hong Kong cinemas in the past six months.

77 Heartbreaks

An obnoxious man-child learns retrospectively about his ex-girlfriend’s grievances in 77 Heartbreaks, which has nothing interesting to say about contemporary mating mores. Read the full review

10,000 Miles

Sports films are almost always going to be full of clichés but, even taking that into account, 10,000 Miles’ script is so flooded with them it derails what is otherwise a gorgeously shot film. Read the full review

Baywatch

Beyond the sunburn and baby oil, Baywatch’s similarities with its source material can barely squeeze into its little red trunks. Read the full review

Because I Love You

Cha Tae-hyun plays an inadvertent cupid in this fantasy melodrama, which merely treats its far-fetched body-swapping premise as a convenient device to link up its thinly sketched episodes. Read the full review

The Big Day

French filmmaker Pascal Plisson’s spiritual sequel to his award-winning documentary On the Way to School proves to be a contrived, manipulative and wholly insincere exercise. Read the full review

Brain on Fire

Chloe Grace Moretz goes through the entire repertoire of acting crazy in this true-life medical drama. It’s just a shame it’s all so uncompromisingly bland. Read the full review

The Bye Bye Man

The film doesn’t offer more than a few banging doors to startle viewers, and that’s hardly enough. Even the evil spirit is doomed to lurk around in the shadows, out of the sight of the audience. Read the full review

Cherry Returns

Lazily plotted and abysmally directed, this remarkably underwhelming psycho-thriller challenges plausibility from its opening moments, only to plummet further into relentlessly baffling nonsense. Read the full review

The Circle

The plot of The Circle has a surprising amount of holes for a release of this size, and the ending is at best contradictory, and at worst, completely obscure. Read the full review

A Cure for Wellness

Despite having proved himself an adept horror director in the past, especially with The Ring (2002), Gore Verbinski fails to capture a whiff of atmosphere or tension. Read the full review

Fabricated City

For all its potential, Fabricated City remains a patchwork of half-realised, undercooked ideas crowbarred into a generic formula. Read the full review

Fifty Shades Darker

This erotic sequel takes itself far too seriously to warrant the sort of ironic attraction offered to something like Showgirls (1995), yet is neither sexy nor sleazy enough to be genuinely titillating. Read the full review

From the Land of the Moon

Marion Cotillard does what’s required as a sexually frustrated wife, and she dovetails well with actor-turned-director Nicole Garcia. But this is substandard material for both. Read the full review

Kung Fu Yoga

This Lunar New Year comedy tries to rekindle the exuberant spirit and high jinks of earlier Jackie Chan/Stanley Tong Kwai-lai collaborations such as Rumble in the Bronx, but falls short. Read the full review

Lucky Fat Man

Viewers new to Patrick Kong Pak-leung’s lamentable gender politics may be shocked to find women portrayed either as mentally unstable, schemers, gold-diggers or sex objects straight out of porn. Read the full review

Monster Trucks

Monster Trucks is amazingly a film about trucks that are powered by monsters. Somewhere at Paramount Animation, some bright spark must have noticed that boys like trucks and monsters.

Read the full review

The Mummy

Not even the star power of Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe can save this lifeless abomination of an opener to Universal Pictures’ Dark Universe. Read the full review

On the Beach at Night Alone

It’ll likely take a diehard Hong Sang-soo fan to truly admire this dreamily scripted fare, lacking as it does the writer-director’s usually rigorous musing on fate and perception. Read the full review

The Shack

The Christian God is rarely shown figuratively in movies, and The Shack is a good example of why not. The result lands somewhere between risible and ludicrous. Read the full review

Smurfs: The Lost Village

The film is very loud, and aims to beat its audience of tots into submission with a relentless barrage of colours and sounds. Things moves so fast, it’s more of a cascade of events than an actual story. Read the full review

The Space Between Us

Aiming squarely at the lucrative young adult audience, this film pursues its flimsy lovers-on-the-run premise with a blatant disregard for logic or plausibility that borders on the insulting. Read the full review

The Top Secret: Murder in Mind

An overlong runtime and a series of mundane subplots that repeatedly get in the way of the main narrative ultimately sink what is otherwise a slickly shot sci-fi film with high production values. Read the full review

The Warrior’s Gate

Essentially a rehash of ’80s hit The Last Starfighter with a martial arts spin, the film plays like a relic from a bygone era, when broad Asian stereotypes were commonplace and went largely unchecked. Read the full review

The Wasted Times

While The Wasted Times is not quite the ordeal its title may suggest, it nevertheless makes for convoluted, impenetrable viewing. Read the full review

White Lily

Japanese studio Nikkatsu’s successful run of “roman porno” reboots stumbles with its fourth offering, a leery and unimaginative tale of infatuation and jealousy revolving around a lesbian couple. Read the full review

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