Between the Lines | Is there a right way to deal with a sleepless child who wants to share mum’s bed?

The domestic helper who looked after my younger daughter for the past four years left our home six months ago. My daughter appears to be adjusting well because, rather than hire another helper, I have personally stepped in to fill the void.

I know that she is thrilled to have so much of my time and attention. However, something different may be happening subconsciously. I mention this household change because I believe this to be the trigger point for a new occurrence in our home.

Three months ago, my daughter started coming to me when she woke up in the middle of the night. Since then, she has made a regular appearance two or three times a week. Because this has not happened in the past, I find it quite endearing to be pulled out of slumber by the pitter-patter of her little feet as she scrambles to my bedside.

With full knowledge that my daughter has lost her best friend and constant companion, I am sympathetic to her nighttime visits. She doesn’t fall asleep in my bed, so when I’m sufficiently conscious, we return to sleep in her bed, where she is safely lulled back to sleep. In her bed, I doze off while lying on my side, cramped with my back against her bedrail.

Here is where we stand on this arrangement: my daughter prefers to sleep with me. I love to cuddle with her but do not enjoy the sore back and interrupted sleep. My husband firmly believes we need to fix this “problem”.

Turning to my friends for advice, I was surprised to find that many of them accommodate their children’s needs, and some even embraced the opportunity to have this special cuddle time. A number of friends repeated the old adage, “Children grow up so quickly.”