Dealing with sibling rivalry

Sibling rivalry didn't exist in our household. My two daughters had been sharing a bedroom for more than a year. They played nicely. The camera caught countless instances of the two of them in a warm embrace. I felt blessed to be a part of this. That is, until my younger daughter figured out she had been getting the short end of the stick and started to tell me. Very loudly.

In generations past, it was natural for a new baby to be the centre of attention. Older children were expected to be more accomodating.

Then came the warning of contemporary parenting experts: if we don't pay more attention to a newborn's elder sibling, we are asking for trouble. The older one will seek attention by behaving badly. And he or she will become jealous and resent the new baby.

And so, a generation of growing families started to focus on the needs and feelings of the elder child. When my younger daughter was about to come home from the hospital, friends reminded me to buy a gift "from the baby to her big sister". Really? My elder daughter may not have grasped consumerism, but she must know that a baby cannot choose or buy a gift, right?

In any event, I bought the gift and she accepted it without much fanfare. And thus began my hyper-conscious efforts to ensure our elder daughter wouldn't feel supplanted.