Relationships: put yourself in your child's shoes to understand bad behaviour

I am not going to tell you there is a quick fix, and I am not asking you to coddle him. But before I offer advice about your stepson, and before resorting to medication, try to put yourself in his shoes for five minutes.

What do you think it would be like to grow up thinking you have been abandoned by your mother for a new family? You live a comfortable life, but you know that your mother is cuddling and loving your half-sister and step-siblings.

Children compare and compete with their siblings, and when it comes to attention, negative attention is better than no attention at all. Have you considered that his acting out may be a cry for attention?

Your daughter and your biological children become who they are through countless hours of interaction, discipline, parenting (from you, the mother of your children and your wife) and they feel cared for and loved. Children learn table manners, respect for others and self-control from their parents and caregivers in an environment where they know they are wanted. Good manners, respect for others and self-control are all learned behaviours that take time to establish, they don't magically happen. Similarly, undesirable behaviours are learned and can be unlearned.

There is no one-size-fits-all technique when it comes to parenting. I often tell parents to try to find the underlying cause of undesired behaviour first. Once you know the real issues your stepson is struggling with, parenting and disciplining him will be relatively straightforward, efficient and rewarding.