Gay parent support group a first for Hong Kong
Most kindergartens make a big deal of Mother's Day. But what if the child doesn't have a mum, what if he has two dads instead?
"The teachers knew about our family and during an activity to make a gift for mothers, the teacher skipped my son to move to the next child. I realised that we'd probably face more of this while in Hong Kong so I wanted to look for other similar families," says Sinha, a pharmaceuticals consultant.
He checked with local gay groups and, unable to find a support network for gay parents, set up Rainbow Families in 2013. Almost two years on, it has 80 members. About 20 of those are families with children and the rest are mostly gay couples looking to adopt.
Sinha and his husband Austin Dowling have since moved back to New York with their two adopted boys, Alfie, now 4½ years old, and Ernest, who is one. The youngest was adopted while they were living in Hong Kong. A career opportunity for Dowling, who works in human resources for an investment bank, dictated their move but Sinha is finding life as a gay parent easier back home in the US.
"The LGBT family concept is not new in the States and certainly even less so in New York so we just feel more part of society. We are treated just like other parents at schools, playgrounds and everywhere we go as a family. When we meet anyone we don't anticipate the question, 'Where is the mother?' It's so clear that we are the parents," says Sinha, 41.
Hong Kong lags behind the US in recognition of gay parents, but even so Sinha says he has noticed some positive changes in the few years they lived in Hong Kong as well as a greater visibility of gay couples with children. The initial challenge to find similar families was quickly resolved and replaced by other challenges - immigration issues and the lack of a curriculum to introduce "different families" as a concept in schools.
"I was on a visitor visa because Hong Kong didn't recognise my relationship with my husband. This created a lot of inconvenience, having to leave the city every three months with a toddler," says Sinha.