I just want a plain old burger. Is that too much to ask? No one requested double patties, smash burgers or eggs sunny side up
- In general, a messy burger with juices and sauces spilling out is a good thing – but Andrew Sun was unprepared to get one with a sunny-side-up egg in it
- Let people do what they like with a burger in private – they can top it with whatever takes their fancy – but where have all the plain, simple hamburgers gone?
Sometimes you just want a plain, simple hamburger. However, the arms race that chefs and restaurant marketing teams conjure often goes quite over the top.
At a diner recently, what I didn’t expect was to order a burger and have it arrive topped with a sunny-side up-egg. It was a funky little spot, geared to students and locals and with little food buzz, so my lunch expectations were quite tempered.
Clearly, I also didn’t read the menu very thoroughly.
In general, a messy burger with juices and sauces spilling out is a good thing. Most of the time, you want that. I just wasn’t prepared for sloppy yolk all over my face and hands.
Eventually, I resorted to a knife and fork because I was licking my paws more than the Labrador retriever in the corner.
Other burger chains offer a gluttonous smackdown with double patties. Unless you’re a rugby player trying to bulk up, nobody needs a double.
To me, that’s just a disingenuous way to con customers into ordering a double burger.
The theory is more of the pressed meat touches the hot surface, thus generating more caramelisation, a crustier texture and greater flavour. The meat also ends up more irregularly shaped so you have the perception of artisanal cooking.
But is the flavour really better? I am sceptical. If you’re looking for something different, then, sure, go for it. Generally, I’m not enough of a burger nerd to engage in frivolous debates about regular burgers versus smash burgers.
Obviously, I think a soft egg is far too messy and detracts from the intended eat-with-your-hands efficacy of a sandwich, but clearly others enjoy the extra-wet-napkin gooeyness.
I don’t even have an issue with the Frankenstein burger creations of McDonald’s. For the coming Lunar New Year, it has concocted a “Prosperity Burger” series featuring an elongated beef patty drenched in black pepper sauce.
It is available plain with specks of onion – or topped with hash brown. Huh? There is also a chicken burger option featuring a ring of pineapple.
Honestly, it sounds horrifying but kind of yummy. And yes, I did try it. The black pepper is overwhelming, reminiscent of the cornflour gravy in Hong Kong-style iron plate steakhouses, but it kind of appeals to my Hong Kong nostalgia.
The most uncomfortable part of the Prosperity burger is the branded Hello Kitty paper it is wrapped in. I don’t know what the Sanrio cartoon has to do with Lunar New Year, but check your gastro and macho credibility while unwrapping your Hello Kitty hash brown hamburger.
