The Next Big Thing: Courses to make you into an ass-kicking vigilante
Everyone thinks that you’re a boring, average OL. But you have a dream. Once you are finally released from your punishing 14-hour work day, you will run into a cha chaan teng bathroom and run out as Lai Cha Lady, defender of the downtrodden and protector of the city!
1) Get the moves.
If you want to be the milky scourge of the night, you need to know how to fight. Wan Kam Leung Practical Wing Chun Kung Fu International is a martial arts school founded by Sifu Wan Kam-leung, who studied with Ip Man’s disciple Wong Shun-leung. Wan’s adapted form of Wing Chun is so practical that he’s become the chief kung fu instructor of the Hong Kong Police. Prices start at $750 for four classes, or $1,100 for unlimited monthly classes.
1/F, Front, 456 Nathan Rd., Yau Ma Tei, 5639-4452, wankamleung.com.
2) Get the kit.
Every self-repsecting vigilante crime fighter must have a utility belt full of nifty gadgets. Sadly, it’s hard to walk into a shop and buy a belt with pre-made pockets for tracking devices, sleep darts and knockout gas. Thankfully, co-working space The Crafties holds regular workshops to teach you how to make all kinds of accessories, from leather wallets to totes to crocheted hats: the perfect crimefighting headgear.
1/F, Sing Kui Commercial Building, 27 Des Voeux Rd. West, Sheung Wan, 3461-1368, www.thecrafties.hk.
3) Get the skills.
It’s not just about being able to punch people really hard in the face, although that helps. You’ll also need to be a top computer whiz, able to hack into any criminal network in the planet. Great Learning Education Centre offers a course in becoming a Certified Ethical Hacker. This 35-hour examined course ($17,800) will take you through everything you need to know to keep a network secure... or maybe to teach a vast evil criminal conspiracy the error of their ways. Good job, Lai Cha Lady! You’re our hero!
Unit A, 20/F, Success Commercial Building, 245-251 Hennessy Rd., Wan Chai, 3620-3360, www.greatlearning.edu.hk.
Who else do you want to be?